TAO LIN | BLOG

vice published a 'piece' by me titled 'top 10 unpublished articles of 2011'

2011-12-22T23:25:00.004-05:00

re 10 articles i worked on in 2011 that are currently unpublished

i created an acronym, 'ufsi'

2011-12-01T03:36:00.010-05:00

re 'unfit for social interaction' (selected coverage: thought catalog, nyu local, time, twitter, twitter bot)

vintage purchased u.s./canada rights to my third novel

2011-08-14T22:47:00.032-04:00

for 2013 publication (selected coverage: ny observer, wall street journal, hipster runoff, galleycat, vulture, carles, the millions, impose, htmlgiant, slog, tumblr)

vice published a ~5000-word story by me titled 'relationship story'

2011-06-10T16:05:00.006-04:00

re a relationship and listed me as an employee of the month

vice is publishing a weekly column by me titled 'drug-related photoshop art'

2011-05-24T14:24:00.077-04:00

week 1, 2,000,000mg xanax
week 2, justin bieber lsd (german, british)
week 3, fat mike in werner herzog's house (fat mike's response, new draft, fat mike's response to new draft)
week 4, pill identifier
week 5, 11.8% heavier cocaine ('war on drugs'-anniversary article)
week 6, extreme close-up of a 30mg adderall
week 7, dumbledore levitating valium, adderall, seroquel
week 8, 'che-rendered' harry potter (2300px)
week 9, a tyrannosaurus rex on an extremely large dose of mdma
week 10, a sea turtle killing itself with the drug that killed ol' dirty bastard
week 11, my rejected 'the new yorker' cover submission (sasha frere-jones' response, bookforum coverage)
week 12, extreme close-up of a 30mg oxycodone
week 13, tao lin retrospective at the whitney
week 14, xanax for koalas (3182px)
week 15 'large dose of mdma' halloween-costume
week 16 koala crying on trampoline
week 17 psilocybin nicolas cage
week 18 kreayshawn
week 19 world's largest xanax
week 20 gollum
week 21 party cat
'b-sides'/drafts/previews: xanax octopus, pancake or steak, extraterrestrial-hugging koala, elderly koala, sky-diving hamster

'ny observer' published a 'piece' by me

2011-04-19T20:25:00.014-04:00

re the future of the novel (selected coverage: htmlgiant, full stop, the tangential, moby lives)

supplemental material is below (click to enlarge)

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

2011-04-14T17:30:00.001-04:00

re toronto memes

'thought catalog' republished a 'piece' by me

2011-04-07T18:13:00.011-04:00

re how to give a reading on mushrooms (originally published by flaunt, video can be viewed here)

gawker reported on my 'live-tweeting' of a boltbus driver being arrested

2011-03-13T17:35:00.013-04:00

for suspected drunk-driving (selected coverage: thought catalog, nbc, gothamist, htmlgiant, moby lives)

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

2011-02-24T16:15:00.000-05:00

re koko, the 'talking' gorilla

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

2011-02-14T19:27:00.002-05:00

re how to get married in las vegas

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

2011-02-01T18:53:00.001-05:00

re 'almost transparent blue' (1976) by ryu murakami (b. 1952)

i am blogging 6-12 times jan 17-24

2011-01-13T13:51:00.013-05:00

at thought catalog, i will post links to each 'piece' in this blog post, here are some ideas i currently have

*update* (1) track-by-track review of neon indian's 'psychic chasms' (2) an account of sharing an ambien with a girl i met one week prior at a party (3) track-by-track review of grizzly bear's 'veckatimest' (4) how to be considerate on the internet (5) critical analysis of four shoppers in a japanese supermarket from the perspectives of their disapproving, estranged mothers (6) every time i've had sex with megan boyle (7) five low-level conspiracies jesse eisenberg should accidentally discover while alone—but content to be alone—on a seven-day bahamas cruise *update*

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

2011-01-03T10:41:00.005-05:00

re top 10 worst fruits to get blowjobs from

paper published a graph by me

2010-12-30T13:55:00.005-05:00

re 2010/2011/'brand movement'/[other things] (view full-size, previous graph 1, previous graph 2, previous graph 3)

i am blogging 6-12 times dec. 6-10

2010-12-01T19:04:00.022-05:00

at thought catalog, view a screenshot of ~50+ 'blogging ideas' from my gmail 'drafts' here

*update* (1) how to butter a sizzling hot ass steak (2) top 10 animals that don't have asses (3) top 10 bleakest unpublished blog posts of 2009 (4) top 10 humans to imagine making really loud whale noises (5) an account of emily gould's 'launch party' re 'and the heart says whatever' (6) what the hell is wikileaks... *update*

MDMAfilms

2010-11-16T15:23:00.041-05:00

is an "extreme mumblecore"/"drugcore"/"emo" film/documentary/"event coverage"/production company established "16 NOV 2010" by Megan Boyle & Tao Lin. Its feature-length releases can be ordered here.

Relevant links: Vimeo, Twitter, Tumblr.

Selected coverage: Filmmaker Magazine, New York Times, indieWIRE, Thought Catalog, Les Inrocks.

'chandler levack' interviewed me ~2.5-hours/'irl' while i was 'on' mdma

2010-11-02T00:12:00.012-04:00

re death/mushrooms/memes/goals/girls/jesus/twitter/[other things]

"selected coverage" re Richard Yates

2010-10-12T22:16:00.043-04:00

11/26 3:AM Magazine / review
11/24 Bill Clegg / review
11/24 Vice / interview (auxiliary coverage: HTMLGIANT)
11/13 Guardian / review

11/11 American Elf / review (auxiliary coverage: Moby Lives)
10/23 National Post / review
10/20 National Post / interview
10/14 London Review of Books (full text) / review (auxiliary coverage: Moby Lives)
10/13 HTMLGIANT (part 2) / interview
10/12 HTMLGIANT (part 1) / interview
10/12 Boston Phoenix / review
9/24 New York Times Book Review / review (auxiliary coverage: Village Voice, HTMLGIANT, The Alt Report, Thought Catalog)
9/24 Boston Globe / review
9/22 The Stranger / profile (auxiliary coverage: Gawker, NY Observer, Omnivoracious, MetaFilter, Thought Catalog, The Alt Report, Seattlest, The Economist, Good) (auxiliary auxiliary-coverage: Slog, Slog)
9/22 BlackBook / profile
9/22 LA Weekly / interview
9/16 Vice / review (auxiliary coverage: Moby Lives)
9/16 It's Nice That / interview
9/14 Popmatters / review
9/11 The Atlantic / overview of selected coverage
9/09 NYU Local / NYU-related things
9/07 Village Voice / review (auxiliary coverage: Meaghan O'Connell)
9/07 Autostraddle / review
9/07 Hipster Runoff / excerpt (auxiliary coverage: Flavorpill)
9/07 Huffington Post / review
9/07 Largehearted Boy / "piece"
9/07 Bookforum / review (auxiliary coverage: Thought Catalog)
9/02 Associated Press / profile (auxiliary coverage: NY Observer, Random House, Poetry Foundation)
8/26 Time Out New York / review
8/24 Nylon / profile
8/24 Salon / profile (auxiliary coverage: NY Observer)
8/19 Interview / interview
8/17 NY Observer / profile (auxiliary coverage: Village Voice, HTMLGIANT, MetaFilter, BlackBook, reddit)

Go here for the "official site."

Other coverage: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 / 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 / index / goodreads

contest discern what drug i'm 'on' contest

2010-10-05T19:00:00.029-04:00

*update* the answer is mushrooms, a person 'covered' this here *update*

first 5 correct answers receive richard yates free, type your answer in the comments section, 1 answer per person, i will reveal the drug thursday 6pm pacific time; include 5 to 1000 words explanation with your answer

an alternate angle w/ different audio & no q&a is here, htmlgiant coverage is here

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

2010-09-01T09:48:00.002-04:00

re shoplifting from american apparel (first published in different form in coming & crying)

canteen published a 'piece' by me

2010-08-18T10:26:00.006-04:00

re the new yorker's '20 under 40' list ostensibly, to some degree, via the prompt 'the great american ______'

'the atlantic' published an article about me

2010-08-03T09:54:00.005-04:00

re '[w]hy is lin so polarizing?'/gawker/[other things] (auxiliary coverage: htmlgiant)

gawker published a 'piece' by me

2010-07-25T15:45:00.005-04:00

re being arrested at nyu's bookstore for 'trespassing'

"3x contest" re Richard Yates

2010-07-22T06:09:00.132-04:00

Winners: Jordan Castro (contest 1) Jordan Castro & Mallory Whitten (contest 2) theRealRealTruth (contest 3)

Contest 1 entries: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (5420 words) 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 (5795 words) 28 (6153 words) 29 30 31 (6676 words) 32 (22280 words via '17824 + 25%') 33 34 (6360 words) 35 36 37
Contest 2 entries: 1 (126+ min.) 2 (48+ min.) 3 (19+ min.)
Contest 3 entries: 1 2 3 4 (~25 people) 5 6 7 (29 people) 8 9 10

Illegitimate entries: 1 (not all participants "in frame") 2 (not > 70% "on topic," I feel) 3 (not all participants "in frame" at relevant moment) 4 (not > 70% "on topic," I feel) 5 (uses obvious "gimmick," to a large degree, I feel)

Prizes: $800, "'special' galley," "'private' coin collection," [other things] (see below). Free books: every "legitimate-seeming" entry will get one of my books free, email binky.tabby [at] gmail.com which book & your address if your entry is linked above. Submission process: post your entry on the internet, comment the link in the comments section of this blog post.

CONTEST 1: TYPE OR "GMAIL CHAT" ABOUT "RICHARD YATES" AND/OR "TAO LIN"

Type 1000+ words or 500+ "Gmail chat lines" about Richard Yates, "Tao Lin's second novel," and/or "Tao Lin," using the following as reference: internet, official site, HTMLGIANT review/coverage of this blog post, Alt Report, Fishkind review, author description, Justin Taylor, [coverage "generated" by this blog post, listed above].

The longest "legitimate-seeming" entry will receive: $250 check + "'special' galley"/"box of drafts" ("longest" means "largest word-count," "1 Gmail chat line" = "2 words," if you promote your entry and it is linked by a site, or is already on "such a site," w/ an Alexa "traffic rank" below 50k your "prize-length" will be increased by 25%, 50% if below 20k.

Tips: seems "easier" maybe if you title sections of your "piece" in this manner, each title being a "topic"/[specific link] that you then "muse upon." Entries do not need to be positive, if you "hate me" and want a free book "feel free" to "shit out" an essay in ~10 minutes "shit-talking" me in a cathartic, stream-of-consciousness manner.

CONTEST 2: FILM AN INTERVIEW/DISCUSSION ABOUT "RICHARD YATES" AND/OR "TAO LIN"

Film a "live, 2+ minute" interview about "Richard Yates" and/or "Tao Lin" using things listed in "contest 1"/[anything] as reference, w/ the person being interviewed "in frame" while speaking. To increase the "prize-length" of the movie you can "upgrade" the interview into a "discussion" (3+ people; see next paragraph).

The longest "legitimate-seeming" entry will receive: $250 check + "coin collection"/"box of drafts" ("longest" means "lengthiest movie," w/ each person beyond 2 who speaks, legitimately, in the movie, increasing the "prize-length" of the movie by 1 minute; for example a "round-table"/"panel discussion" of 7 people, where each person is "in frame" throughout and has "a 'legitimate' speaking role," will increase the "prize-length" by 5 minutes; "additionally," for every 1000 views your movie has before August 03 the "prize-length" will be increased by 2 minutes).

CONTEST 3: FILM A PERSON SAYING "RICHARD YATES" IN A MANNER THAT CAUSES 3+ PEOPLE TO TURN THEIR BODIES, TO SOME DEGREE, TO LOOK AT [AFOREMENTIONED PERSON]

Film a movie where 3+ people turn their bodies, to some degree, upon hearing "Richard Yates," to look at the person who said "Richard Yates," w/ all participants "in frame" during the "relevant" portion of the movie (you can have other things in the movie if you want), can be "scripted" (something w/ friends) or non-scripted (saying "Richard Yates" loudly to "strangers" in a public area).

The movie where the most people "turn around" in the above manner will receive: $300 check + [package of "random ass shit" from my room, guaranteed to probably be worth ~$200-$5000 in ~2025 to NYU's "head archivist"].

OTHER INFORMATION

For this blog post "legitimate" is defined as "more than ~70% 'on topic' and w/o obvious 'gimmicks' like pasting the same sentence repeatedly, quoting 1000-word sections of other essays, having 30+ second 'silent' shots of landscapes, Photoshop'ing into a movie '1000 people turning their bodies to look at a person,' [other things of this nature]." People I know or "are friends w/" can participate, as the judging seems "objective," to a large degree, I feel, for the above contests. Motivated people can submit entries in each contest to receive 3 free books, but cannot submit more than one entry for each contest. "On topic" is defined as "about 'Richard Yates' (novel) and/or 'Tao Lin.'" I feel "flexible" re [things in this paragraph].

"3x contest" ends August 03, Tuesday, 10PM Eastern. Every entry will be linked at the top of this blog post. Richard Yates' release date is September 07 2010. Thank you for your time/consideration.

control what i will be wearing in the september 'nylon'

2010-07-14T17:09:00.035-04:00

*update* voting has ended, 4 is the winner, votes are in parenthesis, 'god damn you all' who voted 10 *update*

noah kalina is photographing me for nylon tomorrow re richard yates, i will wear whatever receives the most votes

1. defiance, ohio t-shirt, green (6)
2. american apparel long-sleeve button-down, black (1)
3. turtleneck that i'll buy from kmart/sidewalk tomorrow, [non-black/white] (10)
4. xanax v-neck designed by brandon scott gorrell, white w/ green lettering (683, including ~450 students from a psychology class and 45 from a 7th grade class, also + 'infinity' of whatever votes 10 got)
5. plaid long-sleeve button down, light blue/other (0)
6. rosa t-shirt, yellow (7)
7. graniph long-sleeve button down, green (2)
8. suit that i'll buy at a thrift store tomorrow (11)
9. layered '6 and 2' w/ 2 unbuttoned (4)
10. cum covering my 'face, hair, ears, neck, and hoodie' (336)
11. [specify something and i'll add it as 11, 12, etc., if it seems 'desirable' to me]

i 'reserve the freedom' to wear a 'hoodie' of my choice in an unzipped/open manner, my shoes will be black ipaths and my jeans will be 511 levi's, vote by typing [number] or [outfit] in the comments section before 3 pm eastern time 7/15, i will actually wear what receives the most votes, thank you for helping me with this potentially stressful decision

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

2010-07-13T02:56:00.001-04:00

re xanga, blogger, wordpress, livejournal, deadjournal, open diary, typepad, moveable type, wheatblog, tumblr

interview questions i 'feel interested in answering'/'feel less interested in answering'

2010-07-12T03:01:00.050-04:00

i foresee answering 200-5000 questions the next ~5 months re richard yates and other things; to possibly cause my answers to be 'different than in previous years' and for things to seem 'more interesting, to some degree,' for myself and maybe other people; and to create a giant list of questions that people, including me, can reference and possibly 'use,' in the future, as people interview other people, people interview me, and i interview other people, i've created 2 lists

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

2010-07-02T14:29:00.006-04:00

re king of kong, planet b-boy, baghead

sometimes my heart pushes my ribs (muumuu house, 2009) by ellen kennedy

2010-06-25T14:05:00.017-04:00

has been reprinted and is available for $12 in a 2nd edition* featuring 'white spine-text'/'5x "fixed typo"'/'updated copyright page' relative to the 1st edition; read a story from it here, view complete information here, read a nylon profile here

*made possible by jordan castro who loaned $1700 to me/'muumuu house'

my new formspring account

2010-06-09T19:45:00.024-04:00

is the comments section of this interview, i will 'honestly answer' every question asked there (unless if it is information that might affect someone else in a manner that i'm not sure, to a certain degree, if they'll 'be okay with') for an amount of time

*update* the above 'offer' has ended, i will not be answering more questions in the comments section at this time, i encourage people to continue asking questions (if they want to) for other people to answer 'for me' (if they want to) using what i've expressed in my previous interviews/selected blog posts/[existence] as reference, if the question is specific/concrete, employing 'mla style citation' if possible; if the question contains abstractions 'simply' pretend you're a robot programmed to (1) 'be logical' (2) not have opinions/'rhetoric' (3) occupy the perspective of 'everything'/'nothing' (4) assume as little as possible and still be able to answer a question (5) know that it does not know everything *update*

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

2010-06-03T22:43:00.013-04:00

re marina abramović, if you write a '"legitimate, in my view," 1000+ word' essay about it & post a link to your essay in the comments section of this post & email binky.tabby [at] gmail [dot] com your address i will mail you sfaa or bed

*update* the above offer has ended, here are the essays: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 *update*

'richard yates' is 'the rumpus book club' selection re august

2010-05-25T23:09:00.021-04:00

information re 'richard yates' is here, information re 'the rumpus book club' is here and here (i think because 'richard yates' is paperback you will also get one other book for august, the paperback of the adderall diaries, i think)

new art & gallery show

2010-05-16T21:27:00.020-04:00

most of these will be at hiding gallery 5/21, click them to view titles/larger, go here to view 'even larger'

'the official chuck palahniuk website' interviewed me

2010-05-12T20:19:00.001-04:00

re shoplifting/'richard yates'/[other things]

i created a music video w/ gidgetsparks

2010-04-29T12:29:00.010-04:00

relevant links: mp3, 'za party,' gidgetsparks myspace, '09 'hro' coverage, tao lin muxtape

~60x student re 'college of coastal georgia' are discussing stories from 'bed' on twitter

2010-04-06T15:04:00.049-04:00

carla bluhm's 'introduction to human development' students are using twitter to discuss bed, the course instructions re 'tweeting' are here, the students' 'tweets' are here

selected 'tweets': 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35

Tao Lin "booking info"

2010-03-22T18:27:00.097-04:00

Contact Common Populous to "book" me to present [the art portion, "Kmart Realism" portion, or both portions of the below 3-part/2-hour "lecture"], read my work, be on a panel, or [other].

I've previously presented a 3-part/2-hour "lecture" at Kansas City Art Institute (view flyer below; click it to enlarge), of which ~20% of the "learning tools" can be viewed here ("annotated timeline"), here ("'Kmart Realism' contextualized, to some degree"), here (12x facial expression, as modeled by the "hamster" template).

I've presented the art segment of the above 3-part/2-hour "lecture" at Columbia College, Vassar, Kansas City Art Institute, UNC Chapel Hill, Coastal College of Georgia.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

'shitstorm alberto' (the first shitstorm of the 2010 season)

2010-03-19T02:49:00.062-04:00

has developed into a category 5 shitstorm (320+ comments) with a 'fully-formed' epilogue, what some in the industry are calling 'a happy ending,' and an auxiliary system that ultimately failed to develop into what would have been 'shitstorm bernard' (in anticipation of a 'very active' season, or perhaps simply to promote itself, 'the weather channel' last week emailed me an exclusive list, to post on my blog, of the names of the first eight shitstorms of the 2010-2011 season, which, after 'alberto' and 'bernard,' are, should they form: 'carmichael,' 'damien,' 'farrod,' 'garrett,' 'harold,' ignatio')

relevant links: 'comprehensive, footnoted, quote-laden' history of 'shitstorm alberto' / giant comment by 'tao' with an 'egregious' typo in the first sentence / notably 'faultlessly punctuated' (for its 'length'/'sentence variety') comment by 'rebecca' / 'essay-comment' by 'l. fontana' originally posted as a comment within 'alberto,' reposted as its own system

2x film option, 3x foreign rights sale

2010-03-14T21:27:00.050-04:00

shoplifting from american apparel has been optioned for film by sangha films and sold to france, to au diable vauvert, to the acquiring editor of david foster wallace in france, 'along with' cognitive-behavioral therapy

eeeee eee eeee has been optioned for film by kacper jarecki and sold to serbia, the translator is zoran trklja

other countries interested in purchasing 'foreign rights' are encouraged to contact my publisher here; 'coverage' of items in this blog post can be viewed at moby lives, flavorpill, gothamist, the village voice, the new yorker, paste

24x poem by me

2010-02-28T18:30:00.008-05:00

can be read here (12x), here (12x)

modular posted an 82-minute 'mixtape' by me

2010-02-26T00:55:00.003-05:00

that is downloadable as one continuous mp3

i am creating an iphone app entitled 'north american hamsters'

2010-02-24T02:03:00.061-05:00

to be published by nexstudios, it will feature in-depth (to some degree) profiles of 60x hamster 'native to north america & its environs,' view preview profiles of select hamsters here

*update* the below offer has ended, 'participants' will be updated at some point via email, thank you *update*

due, among other reasons, to the 'already bleak' nature of this project, the 'already unconventionally satisfying (to me, to some degree)' nature of this project, and the loneliness i don't want to endure while 'documenting the lives'/'creating the portraits' of the often misanthropic, some say, hamsters of north america i am 'inviting the public,' in a way, to participate in this project by selling the 'naming rights' of 20 species for $65 each

paypal binky.tabby [at] gmail.com $65 and i will 'ignore' 'natural history,' to some degree, and name one of the 60 hamster species in the app '[your real name] hamster' or '[your company/website's name] hamster,' for example if your name is 'jonathan safran foer' and you paypal me $65 a hamster in the app will be named 'jonathan safran foer hamster,' if your name is gawker.com a hamster in the app will be named 'gawker.com hamster'

for the '0 - [infinity?]' years after this app 'goes viral' (and eventually becomes a 'nytimes best-selling' book ) people will read your name, read your bio, google your name, look at your blog or twitter account, and possibly purchase your products while 'certainly' increasing your hits; additionally, 1% of pre-tax profits will be donated to help nurture malnourished baby hamsters 'back to health' and eventually 'into the 9-5 workforce'

my 'reading diary'

2010-02-16T00:42:00.004-05:00

can be viewed here

'the poetry foundation' published an essay by me

2010-02-10T17:44:00.002-05:00

re 'romantic relationships'/'5x poem'

Richard Yates, "Tao Lin's second novel" (~55,600 word count)

2010-02-01T18:31:00.051-05:00

will be published September 07 2010 by Melville House, for more information go here.

Journalists interested in "covering" Richard Yates, "Tao Lin's second novel," are encouraged to talk to their editors. One can look at Richard Yates on Goodreads/Amazon/Facebook. The cover "pic" is by Michael E. Northrup.

Journalists interested in a galley for review/interview purposes can email Megan Halpern at megan [at] mhpbooks.com, galleys will be available in late-May. Editors from other countries interested in "acquiring" Richard Yates for their homeland/country are encouraged to go here. Thank you for your time/consideration.

6-minute/1-star amazon video review re 'shoplifting from american apparel'

2010-01-28T01:26:00.007-05:00

'[a]ndrew gives a surprising take on this controversial novelist and his latest novella' (more info here)

three stories from 'bed' and some of 'eeeee eee eeee'

2010-01-25T14:06:00.010-05:00

can now be read here, the stories are love is a thing on sale for more money than there exists (4782 word count), leftover crack in red hook (5553 word count), and sasquatch (4874 word count); also available is bed's table of contents

Joe Gould's Secret by Joseph Mitchell

2010-01-07T23:22:00.032-05:00

I read Joe Gould's Secret by Joseph Mitchell ~10/08, I think, alone in my room. It combines two essays published in the New Yorker in 1942/1964. It is about an unemployed homeless person in Manhattan ~5'0" tall, I think, who tells people he is writing a book that is currently ~9,000,000 words. The person is Joe Gould. Joseph Mitchell profiles Joe Gould for the New Yorker and Joe Gould uses the opportunity to talk to Joseph Mitchell ~10 hours/night ~10 nights, becoming very drunk each night, talking "nonstop" about himself while being served free alcohol, due to not having anyone to talk to normally that would listen to him with interest. At one point Joe Gould says he is aware Joseph Mitchell is being forced, in a way, to listen to him, and so he is taking advantage, by talking a lot. At one point I think Joe Gould sort of "pauses" for a moment from talking to ask Joseph Mitchell if he is annoyed at him for talking so much. Joseph Mitchell thinks about being polite, but then says "yes," he is annoyed, despite having chosen him to write a feature article on. Joe Gould seems unaffected and continues talking.

After the profile is published in 1942 (the first part of the book) Joe Gould continues talking to Joseph Mitchell by visiting his New Yorker office and calling him a lot (sort of on the pretext that he has no address and so has to get the letters addressed to him, due to the profile, via Joseph Mitchell via the New Yorker), and Joseph Mitchell becomes very annoyed (this is written about in the second part of the book, in the article published in 1964, after Joe Gould has died) and a little scared, because the more Joe Gould talks to him the more "common information" will exist between them, Joseph Mitchell knows, and the more attached Joe Gould will become to him. Then Joseph Mitchell thinks the only want to "get rid of" Joe Gould is to get a publisher interested in his ~9,000,000-word book. After some research Joseph Mitchell learns that the book doesn't exist.

There are two very emotional scenes. One is when Joseph Mitchell sort of finds out that Joe Gould has been lying about his ~9,000,000 word book. The other (I'm ~95% certain I "cried," to some degree, after reading this) is when Joe Gould, late in one of the ~10-hour talking sessions, drunk, says he thinks often about and has "never forgiven" his mother for something she once "did to him," referring to one time when she sat openly crying in front of him (when he was a small child) while saying something like "my poor son" (Joe Gould had problems as a child, was very small and got sick a lot, and other things). After the 1942 profile is published Joe Gould gets some benefactors for some time, but they eventually "abandon him." He says there are times when he feels that everyone in Manhattan whom he asks for money (his job is to just ask people for money) dislikes him. I don't think he had friends. At some point he is taken to a mental hospital and dies there.

Joseph Mitchell, over a few years, looks at Joe Gould's notebooks at different times (Joe Gould always had notebooks with him that he wrote in daily, writing his ~9,000,000-word "oral history" thing, he tells everyone) and sees that Joe Gould has been rewriting the same 3-4 essays for ~20 years in different notebooks, something like 100 times (and not working on his ~9,000,000-word, because it doesn't exist), with the same structure and details each time, but different "digressions." The same essays Joe Gould rewrote repeatedly, for ~20 years, were about his father's death, his mother's death, and a satire re liking ketchup a lot.

Here is something from Wikipedia:

Mitchell's account of Joe Gould's extravagantly disguised case of writer's block, published as Joe Gould's Secret (1964), presaged the last decades of Mitchell's own life. From 1964 until his death in 1996, Mitchell would go to work at his office on a daily basis, but he never published anything significant again. In a remembrance of Mitchell printed in the June 10, 1996, issue of The New Yorker, his colleague Roger Angell wrote: "Each morning, he stepped out of the elevator with a preoccupied air, nodded wordlessly if you were just coming down the hall, and closed himself in his office. He emerged at lunchtime, always wearing his natty brown fedora (in summer, a straw one) and a tan raincoat; an hour and a half later, he reversed the process, again closing the door. Not much typing was heard from within, and people who called on Joe reported that his desktop was empty of everything but paper and pencils. When the end of the day came, he went home. Sometimes, in the evening elevator, I heard him emit a small sigh, but he never complained, never explained."

The prose style and tone and focus of the 1942 section are different in the 1964 section. The 1964 section is more detached and concrete, with not many idioms/cliches, and long sentences sometimes. I liked it. The 1964 section is much more "personal" than the 1942 section. The two sections' different tones created, to me, a non-sequitur feeling that seemed emotional/complex in terms of Joseph Mitchell. The book seems emotional both in terms of Joseph Mitchell and Joe Gould. According to Amazon it is 46,624 words. This cover makes it seem something like "a delightful comedy about overcoming shortcomings to find peace and joy in life," which is maybe the opposite of what it's like, in my view.

"a decade in review" re Tao Lin, ages 16 - 26

2009-12-24T03:12:00.085-05:00

2000 Reads ~7 Kurt Vonnegut books in succession. Graduates high school. Eats Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich while taking bath in afternoon sunlight. Listens to Satanic Surfers, Strung Out, Choking Victim, Propagandhi on repeat.
2001 Enrolls at NYU. "Sleeps through" 9/11. Makes "insensitive" 9/11 comment in staircase to attractive girl in dorm who grins in response. Walks aimlessly in the East Village weekend nights listening to The Emo Diaries Vol. 1-4, "Don't Break Me" by Samiam, Mineral, Blacktop Cadence, The Weakerthans on repeat. Eats ramen noodles often. Reads "Reasons to Live" and "At The Gates of the Animal Kingdom" by Amy Hempel repeatedly.
2002 Enters relationship with NYU student. Writes Palahniuk-esque story set in an office. Begins ~100k-word novel. Finally comprehends the word "abstract." Meets Carles. Reads White Noise, Nicholson Baker, Lorrie Moore.
2003 Relationship ends. Reads The Broom of the System, Why Did I Ever. Completes ~100k-word novel. Finally comprehends the word "categorically." Reads Jean Rhys. Moves to New Jersey. Reads Kafka's diaries. Begins Bed. Eats at Vietnamese restaurant alone in Jersey City. Writes whale poem. Feels "severely depressed"/"cripplingly lonely."
2004 Eats Chinese food alone in room on floor. Listens to Azure Ray, Jejune, "Lifted" by Bright Eyes. Feels "very alone." Reads Chilly Scenes of Winter, Joy Williams, Frederick Barthelme, Bobbie Ann Mason. Called "post-modern" derogatorily in Advanced Fiction. Completes Bed. Moves to Wall Street. Begins you are a little bit happier than i am.
2005 Begins blog entitled Reader of Depressing Books. Begins Eeeee Eee Eeee. Reads Richard Yates, Noah Cicero. ~25 editors reject Bed. Eats flaxseeds on pasta. Reads Matthew Rohrer. Completes you are a little bit happier than i am.
2006 Completes Eeeee Eee Eeee. Begins Richard Yates. Eats nutritional yeast on okra. Begins cognitive-behavioral therapy. Moves to rural Pennsylvania. Reads Peter Singer, Kobo Abe, "Disturbing the Peace" by Richard Yates.
2007 Moves into "decrepit" room in Brooklyn. Reads Ben Lerner, Maxwell Perkins biography, ~20 graphic-novels. Completes cognitive-behavioral therapy. Writes Cho Seung-Hui essay. Sees "Cache" with Brandon Scott Gorrell. Reads James Purdy. Eats cupcakes from Baby Cakes. Writes essay for The Stranger linked by Gawker.
2008 Begins Shoplifting from American Apparel. Reads in Kansas. Sells $12k shares in 2nd novel. Quits Angelica Kitchen job. Orders $800 mattress online. Cancels order next day. Listens to Modest Mouse, Line and a Dot, The Stupid Stupid Henchmen on repeat. Completes Shoplifting from American Apparel. Creates Muumuu House.
2009 Blogs "from" Germany. Publishes sometimes my heart pushes my ribs, TBBC, during my nervous breakdown i want to have a biographer present via Muumuu House. Attempts to retroactively "go viral." Writes essay re good/bad in art. Drinks first green smoothie. Is interviewed by Michael Silveblatt. Reads Pan. Completes final edits re Richard Yates.

the 'tao lin photoshop self-portrait w/ "1983 - ????" commentary' shirt

2009-12-15T19:12:00.048-05:00

is now available in the i am carles store for $19, view an 'action photo' here

Urban Outfitters has decided to sell "Shoplifting from American Apparel" in their stores

2009-12-08T19:25:00.075-05:00

Shoplifting from American Apparel is now available at Urban Outfitters locations throughout America (Village Voice coverage/video documentation). Based on what I know about life I feel that this is the apex of my career (see graph).

Seems risky, in my view, that they are doing this. I feel unsure if I would allow this if I were a high-level Urban Outfitters executive. Seems expected that Burger King or Wendy's "shit-talk" McDonald's as part of their identity but for a clothing retail company to do something that "even vaguely" references another clothing retail company seems provocative, stressful, and "mildly confusing," in my view (yet ultimately "really sweet," I think, however).

I fantasized in bed about writing Shoplifting Shoplifting from American Apparel from Urban Outfitters (cover), a novella about Shoplifting from American Apparel written with an extreme focus on "being meta." Almost every sentence would employ an "em-dash parenthetical with a semi-colon within itself to self-reference or further parenthesize without using parenthesis, due to parenthesis already being used elsewhere in the sentence" in order to be "2x+ meta" "even on the sentence level." Seems like I wanted, in my fantasy, to construct such a powerful, sustained, layered, intuitive, "artificial intelligence"-like, self-aware to the point of transcending the concept of self, "pure" experience of meta that [I'm not sure, I think at this point I stopped thinking about it or probably focused more on thinking about photoshopping SFAA's cover to SSFAAFUO for this blog post and "feeling worried" a little that SSFAAFUO might not fit if I retained SFAA's cover's font size].

Shoplifting Shoplifting from American Apparel from Urban Outfitters (2012) could be marketed as a modern Reading Lolita in Tehran (2003) or a meta Shoplifting from American Apparel (2009). Seems lucrative.

michael silverblatt interviewed me for kcrw's bookworm

2009-11-25T13:49:00.020-05:00

the interview can be listened to here, more information about michael silverblatt is here; bookworm's archives contain 3x joy williams, 4x ann beattie, 3x lydia davis, 1x mary robison, 1x bobbie ann mason, 7x nicholson baker, 5x david foster wallace, 1x gordon lish, 1x stephen dixon, 1x clancy martin, 2x kurt vonnegut, 2x lorrie moore interview

norway has purchased 'shoplifting from american apparel'

2009-11-20T13:57:00.011-05:00

cappelen damm, a company some are calling 'norway's premier publisher,' the result of a merger between companies formed in the 1800's, is publishing shoplifting from american apparel in 2010 or 2011

"selected coverage" re Shoplifting from American Apparel

2009-11-14T12:50:00.010-05:00

12/14 Review, The Globe and Mail (vaguely "damning")
12/03 Interview, KCRW's Bookworm (I seem "brain-damaged")
11/13 Review, The Guardian (positive)
11/09 Review, Ron Silliman (positive)
11/04 Interview, Vernacular (I seem okay)
10/13 Review, The Rumpus (observational, with concerns)
10/08 Review, Austin Chronicle (positive)
10/07 Interview, The Stranger (I seem "brain-damaged")
10/07 Interview, New Hampshire Public Radio (I seem okay)
10/07 Interview, Gosh Damn (I seem okay)
10/05 Interview, The Millions (I seem okay)
10/02 Review, Matador (observational)
09/30 Review, San Francisco Chronicle (positive)
09/29 Interview, The Rumpus (I seem okay)
09/28 Review, HTMLGIANT (positive)
09/25 Review, Yale Daily News (positive)
09/24 Essay, Largehearted Boy (observational)
09/24 Review, Los Angeles Times (seems concerned)
09/22 Review, Time Out Chicago (positive, with concerns)
09/22 Interview, Brand X (I seem "brain-damaged")
09/22 Excerpt, This Recording (~7 pages)
09/22 Interview, Dazed Digital (I seem okay)
09/22 Interview, Stop Smiling (I seem "brain-damaged")
09/19 Profile, The Daily Beast (I seem "brain-damaged")
09/18 Review, The Boston Phoenix (positive, with concerns)
09/18 Review, The Quietus ("damning")
09/17 Review, The Faster Times (positive)
09/16 Interview, FREEwiliamsburg (I seem "brain-damaged")
09/15 Excerpt, Hipster Runoff (~10 pages)
09/11 Interview, Impose Magazine (I seem okay)
09/10 Gchat, HTMLGIANT (positive)
09/08 Review, Village Voice ("damning," I think)
09/08 Review, Anthem (positive, with concerns maybe)
09/08 Review, Bookslut ("damning")
09/02 Review, Time Out New York (positive, with concerns)
09/02 Review, 3:AM Magazine (positive, with concerns)

Older coverage/more info here; publisher's page here; direct media inquiries here.

0 people entered my contest

2009-11-12T14:57:00.033-05:00

'why, and how, did this happen?'

seems like an email i received this morning may contain the answer to that question

this morning 'mcgraw-hill,' the leading publisher of college textbooks, working on an anonymous tip, emailed me expressing interest in using the tao lin experimental contest case as 'the main case study/concrete example' for the sociological concepts 'the bystander effect' and 'diffusion of responsibility,' replacing the kitty genovese case, in next year's sociology 101 textbooks, to increase the relevancy of sociology, by connecting it with blogs, they said, and also to appease christian groups that complain about the violence and implied nihilism, that the murderer just wanted 'to kill a woman,' which 'the kitty genovese case' seems to promote

i'm not sure how i feel about this, seems offensive yet lucrative

should i do it, they want me to capitalize my sentences, and not use the word 'depressed'

is it 'even' true, does 'the tao lin experimental contest case' really demonstrate 'diffusion of responsibility' and 'the bystander effect,' will professors still be able to assuredly put those concepts on mid-terms, without fear of students arguing with them

does why 'a person could have paypal'd tao lin 1 cent to gain ~$250 worth of items, but didn't' correspond with why 'a person could have called the police to save 1 person's life, but didn't,' is this an analogous situation

or have i 'simply' alienated the 2500+ people that viewed the contest, a demographic that includes 'people with little interest in me that want to participate because it might help them with their own careers,' 'people who are "really bored,"' 'people who feel pressure to "support the arts,"' 'people who i've supported in the past who now feel pressure to "support me back,"' 'people who constitute "my entire 'real' fan base,"' 'people who feel lonely for 20 minutes and want to "connect, however vaguely" with anyone,' 'my friends and family (even my mother did not enter the contest, i think she 'doesn't have it'/'doesn't know what it is' re paypal)', and 'people with a "vested interest" in me, my career, literature, art, vimeo, contests, or blogs'

will nyu and columbia blogging professors in 2050 project my blog post onto a screen in front of ~200 students and talk about the concepts of 'career-ending blog post' and 'large-scale fan base alienation'

will the progenies of noam chomsky, howard zinn, and [someone else] 'riff' on my blog post, in expensive guest lectures, extrapolating various aspects of my vimeo video and prose style to foreign affairs, linguistics, and, creatively, marine biology

have i finally 'broken in' to the academic world inadvertently

have i finally blogged the blog post that 'actually' 'ends my career'

will college students be able to internalize the concepts of 'diffusion of responsibility' and 'the bystander effect' (and 'fill in' the correct bubbles on their test forms) without the memorable aspects (violence, 'stabbed to death') of 'the kitty genovese case'

have i inflicted irreparable damage to my brand/career in the past 3-6 months/years via 'too many' cash-related blog posts, interviews where i seem 'brain-damaged,' and '"unseemly" "tweets"'

worried about 'the future of sociology in this country'/'my career'

experimental contest, ends wednesday at 11 pm (eastern time)

2009-11-09T22:32:00.046-05:00

the email address that paypals binky.tabby [at] gmail.com the largest amount* of money by wednesday at 11 pm wins this 'experimental contest' (no amounts will be revealed until the end, and then only by email to those who 'participated,' and no amounts will be returned, as this isn't an 'auction,' but a kind of 'gamble'), gaining for themselves, their friends, and their family the items in this video

i feel scared and, 'surprisingly,' sort of, though also 'not surprisingly,' it seems, 'depressed' (but in a 'really vaguely' sarcastic manner, or nearly toneless manner, maybe) and a little nervous about this 'experimental contest'

not sure what i feel exactly

just seems like it is a 'melancholy' and somehow 'scary' thing to do, like i am 'splicing' the genes of a human baby with those of a hamster or bluefin tuna; feels, also, though, like i 'must' do it, like i am kissing a girl that might be going on vacation for 2 years and doesn't know how i feel about her; though, additionally, it also feels like 'i "can't believe" it has "come to this,"' like i want to hide in a closet and 'whimper' while holding a stuffed animal immediately after clicking 'publish'

thank you for reading this blog post, if you feel 'angry' or 'vaguely annoyed' at me i understand, i think, and do not discourage you from expressing yourself, resultingly, in the comments section of this blog post

*if there is 'a tie' the tied email addresses will have 10 hours to paypal another amount in a 'nerve-wracking' (but ultimately fun) 'paypal showdown'; if there is another tie the 'paypal showdown' will be repeated, 'and so on' / to avoid contest fraud i will screenshot the highest paypal amount and email it to every email address that paypal'd (a list of every 'contribution' amount will also be emailed to all 'contributors,' for sociological purposes); also you can look at my 100% positive ebay rating to 'assuage your untrustworthy "soul"' (if you want to); finally, if the winner of this contest wants this i will post a screenshot of 'their contribution' (tax deductible) and link their internet presence or an internet presence of their choice

a review of three documentaries by werner herzog by me

2009-11-03T03:13:00.013-05:00

has been published by fanzine, for a previous werner herzog review by me go here

"one-year anniversary" re hihihihihihihihihiiihihihihihihihhi.com

2009-10-31T04:33:00.057-04:00

To celebrate the one-year anniversary of my art site featuring depressed 'critters' w/ undiagnosed social anxiety disorder the following offer is [the offer has ended, prints can be purchased at normal prices in the Tao Lin Store].

"Tao Lin's wonderful museum of emotionally afflicted, colorful, and at times morbidly obese animals 'seems sweet," said Artforum in an article that also said, "Perfect for Thanksgiving, Columbus Day, and, surprisingly, Guy Fawkes Day."

"Near-perfect stocking stuffers," said Consumer Reports and Cat Fancy.

"The Asian Andy Warhol or quite possibly the next/American Takashi Murakami," said L Magazine in a 2008 retrospective of Tao Lin's literary oeuvre that digressed, or "rambled," some say, into witty but ultimately inaccurate and "facile," even, according to the comments section of that article, blurbs about Tao Lin's visual art.

*

* framed 8" x 10.66" "hamburger-holding sasquatch," copyright Noah Kalina, click to enlarge

"'grassroots'* promotional campaign" re Shoplifting from American Apparel

2009-10-26T00:26:00.086-04:00

If you (1) blog > 1500 words about me or (2) have a > 500 line Gmail chat about me (and put it on the internet) I will mail you Shoplifting from American Apparel or, if you already have SFAA, Bed.

*UPDATE* The "grassroots" promotional campaign to promote literacy in America, among other things, has ended. 26x [SFAA/Bed], supplied by my publisher, Melville House, recently named "best small press" by the Village Voice, have been "dispersed." The blog posts/Gmail chats have been linked below. *UPDATE*

01) Lizzi Kepsel (> 1500 words 14) Nicholas Richards (> 1500 words)
02) Andrew Schwem (> 1500 words) 15) David Fishkind & DJ Berndt (> 500 line Gmail chat)
03) Everett Bogue (> 1500 words) 16) Emily Eno & Kate Jones (> 500 line Gmail chat)
04) Chris Moran (> 1500 words) 17) Danielle Unger, Andy Axel, & "Kyle" (> 500 line Gmail chat)
05) Jose Diaz (> 1500 words) 18) Juan Moscoso (> 1500 words)
06) Camille Thomas (> 1500 words) 19) Ben Rosamond (> 2000 words, New Zealand)
07) Brook Winters (>1500 words) 20) Victoria Trock (> 1500 words)
08) Nikki Lentz (> 2000 words, Germany) 21) Sam White (> 1500 words)
09) Colin Marshall (> 1500 words 22) Zac Zellers & Noam Flam (> 500 line Gmail chat)
10) Michael Woodside (> 2000 words, Canada) 23) Tyler Trykowski (> 1500 words)
11) Liam Crocker & "Jared" (> 500 line Gmail chat) 24) Andrew James Weatherhead (> 1500 words)
12) Ted Gillespie (> 1500 words) 25) Mike Kramer (> 1500 words)
13) Buttercup McGillicuddy (> 1500 words) 26) Megan Boyle (> 1500 words)

Thank you for your time and consideration in this "grassroots" promotional campaign designed to benefit its participants in a productive, artistically-satisfying, life-affirming, and "synergistic," even, manner.

* might be mis-using the word "grassroots"

'hehe'/'damn'

2009-10-17T19:29:00.010-04:00

jeffrey brown (blog) illustrated a line of dialogue from shopifting from american apparel

~2 years ago i blogged about some of jeffrey brown's books

gmail chat me while i am on methadone, adderall, green juice, or iced coffee

2009-10-06T01:22:00.027-04:00

*update* the 30-minute gmail chat blocks with me on various 'drugs' sold on ebay for $61 (methadone), $36 (adderall), $31 (green juice), $35.76 (iced coffee); thank you for bidding if you bid, click links to read posted gmail chats *update*

npr's 'weekend edition'

2009-09-05T13:25:00.001-04:00

talked about me and read a poem by me, the poem is from you are a little bit happier than i am

Malcolm Gladwell interview in Gigantic Magazine

2009-08-31T19:36:00.033-04:00

I interviewed Malcolm Gladwell (below) for issue 1 of Gigantic; also in the issue is an interview of me by Rozalia Jovanovic.

Tao: What's the most memorable thing you've ever eaten?
Malcolm: As a very small child, I once accompanied my uncle, on his farm in Jamaica, out in the fields Christmas morning. Together we killed a goat. Last evening, at Christmas dinner, we ate it. To an eight year old, that is a seriously cool thing to do.

Tao: What are some things you were really interested in the past but today have little or no interest in? (Do not elaborate, just state the things.)
Malcolm: Writing letters. Major League Baseball. The Real World. G. I. Joe. Las Vegas. Shrinks. Hip Hop. William F. Buckley

Tao: If after reading OUTLIERS a sports organization or country wanted to hire you to reorganize their entire system of operation how interested in that would you be, and have you ever fantasized about this happening, perhaps with a certain organization that you like a lot?
Malcolm: I have fantastized about that a lot. I would be very interested. I would like to be Czar of all post-secondary education in the United States. My big reform would be to make it illegal for any employer to ask, or any prospective employee to disclose, the identity of the job candidate's undergraduate institution.

Tao: What do you know about "kombucha?"
Malcolm: That is another thing that I was interested in before, but now have little or no interest in at all.

guardian article

2009-08-26T16:14:00.001-04:00

'high levels of ennui'

found 'ancient' edition of james purdy's 'color of darkness' in 'cure for cancer' thrift store, purchased for 25 cents / 'fuck america' stickers

2009-08-20T20:37:00.050-04:00

i think 'color of darkness' is out-of-print, its amazon page seems 'fucked' 'big time,' i posted a story from 'color of darkness' on muumuu house, i think out-of-print things can be circulated 'freely' if the author 'has died,' or something, seems complicated; a previous 'james purdy blog post' can be read here (since that blog post james purdy 'has died')

maybe i 'miss' video games, not sure

should i 'play' diablo III a lot when it 'comes out,' putting things on ebay that i 'find on the floor' after 'slaying' certain 'monsters,' typing things like 'do you want to buy anything else right now to avoid paypal/ebay fees, i will be happy to show you my inventory' upon meeting my ebay customers in the world of diablo III

should i

'fuck america' stickers have arrived and can be purchased here, view 250x here; might be funny if people 'adhere' 'fuck america' stickers to UPS trucks, ambulances, police cars, or select 'ben & jerry's' locations

Japanese "Eeeee Eee Eeee" (Kawade Shobo, 2009)

2009-08-12T23:19:00.023-04:00

Kawade Shobo is publishing Eeeee Eee Eeee this month. They asked me to make a 30-second promotional video. They "embedded" my 30-second promotional video into a longer promotional video they made. I feel maybe Japanese people will appreciate that I seem embarrassed in the video. I feel I was "just" "being myself." If any Japanese people are reading this blog post I would like to say that I co-wrote a book called Hikikomori in 2006.

I like Japan. I don't remember when I first felt that I liked Japan. Maybe when I first played Nintendo. Japan is maybe "by far" my favorite country. Japan seems to have a long life expectancy, a low obesity rate, and a social phenomenon that seems related to things I like to read or write about such as loneliness, depression, boredom, confusion, social anxiety, and meaninglessness. Japanese people seem on average more calm, embarrassed, nervous, "humble," and shy than people from other countries, I feel (based on my experiences in concrete reality, watching TV and movies, and reading books). Seems like Japanese people "shit talk" less. I went to Japan when I was 8 or 9. Here is a poem about my trip to Japan.

To "commemorate" Japan publishing Eeeee Eee Eeee I will now blog about every Japanese book I remember having read.

The Woman in the Dunes by Kobo Abe

I think I have read it twice. Having problems remembering if I read this once or twice. I like the ending, seems "very" consoling. Seems powerful in "reminding" me that happiness is "relative" and that I can probably "come to accept," and be able to feel "happiness" or "pleasure" in any situation that I am put into, no matter how "horrible" it may seem from other perspectives.

The Box Man by Kobo Abe

I think I read the first 20-80 pages maybe three times. I think I have not ever finished the entire book. The first 20-80 pages seem funny, emotional, and consoling to me. It is about people who leave their apartments and put refrigerator boxes over themselves, and live inside the refrigerator boxes, walking around with the refrigerator boxes over them and sitting down inside the refrigerator boxes and eating and sleeping in them, with small openings so they can see outside the box. I think after 80 pages the book becomes some kind of "meta" thing that focuses on "sexual fetishes"/"narrative reliability issues" and less directly on loneliness/social alienation.

Inter Ice Age 4 by Kobo Abe

This can maybe be considered a "science fiction" novel. I think this is the earliest Kobo Abe novel translated to English. I think he has two novels before this not translated to English. I think Kobo Abe has almost the same tone in everything I have read by him. I view Kobo Abe tonally as I view Kafka or Joy Williams, in that these people have maintained a distinct tone throughout their careers, to some degree, it seems. Kobo Abe's tone seems confident of itself and can be described as "funny," "humorously logical," or "not unlike Kafka." Inter Ice Age 4's main "thing" is maybe a machine that can predict the future by processing the existing data of the past. If the prediction is "made public" the machine then "must" do another prediction that includes the data of the effect of the initial prediction being released, which if then released requires another prediction, and the "average" of those predictions becomes the final prediction of the future, I think. The book eventually becomes, to me, about acceptance, relativity, and acknowledging then "internalizing" different perspectives as a means to feel more accurately insignificant in order, among other things, to make oneself feel "less depressed." It is maybe similar to The Woman in the Dunes re the sentence before this sentence.

Kangaroo Notebook by Kobo Abe

This is a "surrealistic"/"magic realist" novel maybe. The narrative seems to progress based on a logic or thought process that is "not realistic" but that is consistent and, to me, "funny"/"interesting." This book seems to maybe "showcase" Kobo Abe's creativity and sense of humor in the way, I feel, that The Quick and the Dead "showcases" Joy Williams' creativity and sense of humor. I feel I would commit to reading the entire book if I owned it. I have read maybe 40 pages of it while "at work" in a library that had it. This book is rare maybe, not sure. I feel I will read it in entirety within 1-2 years. I look forward to reading it.

The Ark Sakura by Kobo Abe

I have read maybe 30 pages. I have it in "giant" hardcover edition. If I had a softcover edition I feel I would read it in entirety within 1-2 months. I feel committed to reading it in entirety at some point. I feel that I would read anything by Kobo Abe due to his relatively consistent tone that I already know I like. I feel interested in reading non-fiction by Kobo Abe. He wears "hipster glasses" in his author photos from I think the 50's or 60's or 70's.

Norweigian Wood by Haruki Murakami

I think I liked this. I think it was highly readable and contained moments where the narrator was "depressed"/"lonely" without being dramatic about it. I don't remember what happened in it. I remember one part where the narrator was lonely in college maybe. I think it is about a relationship.

A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami

I'm not certain if I read this in entirety. I don't remember what happened in it. I think I remember one part where some kind of "authority," like an FBI person, is standing in a room with the narrator and a sheep or something. I'm currently experiencing "weird feelings" that I somehow "copied" this book in the animal sections of Eeeee Eee Eeee.

Dance Dance Dance by Haruki Murakami

I'm not certain if I read this in entirety. I don't remember what happened in it. I think this is a sequel to A Wild Sheep Chase or that A Wild Sheep Chase is a sequel to this. I seem to have images of sheep in this book, but maybe that is just the title or the cover. I think the cover of this has a "ram" on it.

Hardboiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami

I remember reading this and feeling like I was reading a fantasy novel. I think it had a map in it that reminded me of Final Fantasy or Dragon Warrior on "regular Nintendo." It alternates chapters between two "separate" books that I think vaguely connect in the end, or at times, but not enough to make it "not 'literary.'" Seems like a successful gimmick in inducing feelings of "this world we are in isn't real" or "there are other, alternate worlds that maybe influence this one or just exist." I remember imagining the landscape of the "End of the World" parts as like in the movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights.

The Elephant Vanishes by Haruki Murakami

I remember feeling excited reading the story about a couple "robbing" a McDonald's late at night. I think after reading it I told my mom to read it. I also remember a story where the narrator talks about how the only question he had, in his head, after meeting a girl, or something, was whether or not he was going to "have sex" with the girl. I felt "alienated" from that "sentiment" at the time in my life when I read that quote; I do not necessarily feel "not alienated" from that "sentiment" currently, I haven't thought about it currently.

South of the Border, West of the Sun by Haruki Murakami

I think I remember the narrator owning a jazz club or something. I feel that I liked this novel. I feel that I like his short, "realistic" novels more than his other novels. I think I read all his books before I had read any of the books I currently like most, for example any K-mart Realism except probably Raymond Carver.

Sputnik Sweetheart by Haruki Murakami

I remember one scene where the narrator looks out his window and sees something in a building across the street. It is "himself" naked and doing sexual things to another person. I remember feeling "really scared" alone in my room in Florida after reading that scene. I was afraid to look out the window because I thought I might see myself naked and doing weird things. Currently it seems not scary at all, maybe I am remembering the scene wrong. I feel like this novel contains a girl being sent into space in the style of monkeys that were sent into space in the 60's. I'm certain that isn't in the book.

After the Quake by Haruki Murakami

I liked the stories in here. I think they were all, but the last one, "realistic," and more than 20 pages. I feel that Haruki Murakami said the stories in this book were inspired by Raymond Carver, not entirely sure about that. I think I know that Haruki Murakami is Raymond Carver's Japanese translator. I have "actually" read a biography of Haruki Murakami by his "main" English translator, Jay Rubin. I don't remember anything specific from the biography.

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami

I think I read maybe 80 pages of this. After reading maybe 80 pages I felt myself not having a strong desire anymore to read more books by Haruki Murakami. Previously I felt enough desire to calmly and even "excitedly" "commit" to entire books by him. I think after 80 pages of this I became aware that I like translations of Haruki Murakami by Philip Gabriel more than Jay Rubin, who seems to use many cliches/idioms like "screamed at the top of my lungs" or "felt it at the bottom of my heart," whereas I seem to remember that Philip Gabriel did not use many cliches/idioms. Wonder if Haruki Murakami is aware of this. Here is a YouTube video of Haruki Murakami, "lol."

No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai

I remember the narrator of this book being "emo." I think there is a passage in the book where the narrator says he is "no longer human" due to extreme detachment or inability to feel happy or something. I have memories of the narrator trying to kill himself, maybe more than once. I have memories of the narrator looking at his child or something and feeling "nothing" or maybe feeling "confused." I don't remember what "actually" happens in this book. I think I remember feeling that the author had a complex/layered sense of sarcasm/irony that I "suspected" wasn't conveyed completely due to translation.

The Setting Sun by Osamu Dazai

I don't remember how much of this book I read. I think I remember some parts about the main character being a child and feeling alienated. I may have not read this book. I think I read it.

Rashoman and Other Stories by Ryunosuke Akutagawa

I remember feeling that the stories in this book were like "fables, or something," in that the author seemed to have "what if" ideas and then write stories to actuate the ideas, for example thinking "what if someone was never satisfied with their wife's looks" or something then "sitting down" and writing that story until the "what if" question seemed answered.

Sayonara, Gangsters by Genichiro Takahashi

I remember initially thinking this book was "too whimsical" or something for me to like it, but after maybe 50 pages I felt I liked it. This book has a Jonathan Safran Foer blurb, seems funny. I liked this book. It seems not available anywhere. I read a copy from New York University's library. I remember feeling emotional at one "chapter" while also feeling aware that I was being manipulated, but being okay with being manipulated.

The One-Straw Revolution by Masanobu Fukuoka

This book is about organic farming and the arbitrary, relative, "meaninglessness" nature of the universe. The author says when he was around 25 he felt, suddenly, or something, that everything was "meaningless," which made him happy. After that he went somewhere and started a farm. The book discusses how types of farming (or other things involved in food production) that use chemicals and unnatural fertilizers are causing certain effects that most people would view as "undesirable" in terms of health, "happiness," people's "worldviews," sustainability, the environment, future generations, and other things. I like this book. It has pictures from the 60's or 70's or 80's that I think show Masanobu Fukuoka wearing "hipster glasses."

Snakes and Earrings by Hitomi Kanehara

I think this is ~15,000 words. It is about a "depressed"/"detached" girl that is "into" piercings and then later drinks a lot of alcohol every day. I remember at the end the girl feels really depressed then for no reason feels less depressed, then feels happy and "hopeful for the future," or something. It seemed funny. I think she wrote it when 18 or 19. In Japan I think the "major" literary prize is the Akutagawa Prize, which is given "annually" to one person, but in 2003 it was given to two people, Hitomi Kanehara and Risa Wataya, who were both 19 or 20, which were the youngest ages to whom the prize had been awarded (feeling uncertain re grammar in this sentence.) I would like to read Hitomi Kanehara's other books but I think they aren't translated. One is available in the UK maybe. Seems like almost none of the books that win the Akutagawa Prize are translated to English.

"I Am Carles" clothing sponsorship

2009-08-10T04:44:00.016-04:00

I Am Carles, a subsidiary of the corporation that owns Hipster Runoff, has sponsored me in a deal worth [contractually confidential] dollars. Most of the details will appear in next week's New York Times Magazine, but I've typed some "exclusive" "backstory" below for "passionate" readers of this blog who pre-ordered Shoplifting from American Apparel:

After what most industry insiders are calling "an especially intense bidding war" I rented the 2nd most environmentally-friendly car that Hertz currently offers and drove to Los Angeles (stopping in Aspen, Colorado to sign my books at the local Barnes & Noble and to ski a little) where I texted "I'm here" to [one of the three people who write the blog posts that appear on Hipster Runoff].

Four hours (and two meetings with marketing executives from Urban Outfitters who attempted a "last minute" "buy out" unsuccessfully) later, surrounded by a team of lawyers representing mine and [the network of investors that control Hipster Runoff]'s interests, I signed a one-year contract.

I hope everyone is "okay" with this. I feel I will continue to write (1) existentially-minded, concrete, linear narratives with little or no description and little or no rhetoric, utilizing short sentences with no em-dashes or semi-colons in a style that could be described as "detached," "minimalist," or "autistic" or (2) existentially-minded, "not necessarily" linear narratives with many adjectives, adverbs, and "poetically" rhetorical passages containing many similes and metaphors, utilizing short, long, or fragmented sentences with many em-dashes and semi-colons in a style that could be described, variously, as "detached," "lyrical," "deadpan," or "Lorrie Moore 20-page short story" despite never "needing" to buy another blue shirt again (for one year).

"September/October reading tour" re Shoplifting from American Apparel

2009-08-05T18:23:00.031-04:00

New York
08 BookCourt (163 Court Street), 7 pm, launch party
10 Spoonbill & Sugartown (218 Bedford Ave.), 7 pm, free "Shoplifting" "chapbooks" for 1st 25 people
12 New York Public Library (15 East 46th Street), 2 pm
13 Brooklyn Book Festival, 12 pm, with Nicholson Baker, Ben Marcus, Yona Zeldis McDonough
14 Bluestockings (172 Allen Street), 7 pm

Massachusetts
16 Back Pages Books (Waltham, 289 Moody Street), 7:30 pm
17 Brookline Booksmith (Brookline, 279 Harvard Street), 7 pm
18 Harvard Coop (Cambridge, 1400 Mass Ave.), 7 pm

California
26 Vroman's (Pasadena, 695 E. Colorado Blvd), 4 pm
27 Book Soup (Los Angeles, 8818 Sunset Blvd.), 4 pm
28 Copperfield's Books (Petaluma, 140 Kentucky Ave.), 7 pm
29 Bar Amnesia (San Francisco, 853 Valencia Street), 7 pm, with Stephen Elliott, hosted by The Rumpus and City Lights
30 Pegasus Books (Berkeley, 2349 Shattuck Avenue), 7:30 pm
02 The Booksmith (San Francisco, 1644 Haight Street), 7:30 pm
04 Alphonse Berber Gallery (Berkeley, 2546 Bancroft Way), 7 pm

Maryland
08 Atomic Books (Baltimore, 3620 Falls Road), 7 pm

Connecticut
29 Broad Street Books (Middletown, 45 Broad Street), 7 pm

jesus

2009-08-02T21:22:00.025-04:00

seems like my life is 'tapering off'

i see myself with my eyelids down a little, making everything 'darker'

i'm 'actually' typing in the dark right now, reinforcing my 'feelings of bleakness'

the screen is illuminating my face

the screen is illuminating my knuckles

seems like 'momentarily' i'm going to 'wither away' to 'nearly nothing' in a fast-motion 19-second clip that would go viral on youtube if it was a tuna or salmon 'withering away' instead of me 'withering away'

feels like i just paraphrased either 'nine, ten' from 'bed' or my twitter account circa ~40-60 days ago

feels like i'm crawling inside a small tunnel that is getting smaller

at the end of the tunnel is something 'absurd'/'non-sequiturish' like a sears catalogue or horseshoe crab

my entire life is to prepare myself so that 'final thing' 'makes sense'

feels like i'm in the 'correct mood' to write a science fiction novel in the mode of 'sirens of titan' era kurt vonnegut

is this blog post anything

can i write an existentially-minded science fiction novel in the mode of kobo abe's 'inter ice age 4'

or should i 'just die' 'soon'

looking forward to people's answers in the comments section

brandon scott gorrell is 'hanging out' with tobey mcguire and ray liotta tonight, according to a text message he sent me

should i start a 'lit news' section at the top of this blog in the style of hipster runoff's 'alt report'

just had an image of happiness 'eluding me,' seemed funny, saw a kind of 'shadowy but not scary at all' figure (representing happiness) running in a curvy manner behind a large, plastic structure on a playground

feels like i just paraphrased something from the 'leftover crack' story in 'bed'

twittered 'jesus' today

2009-07-30T15:51:00.027-04:00

just 'chugged' a large iced coffee

currently wearing a 'joy williams' shirt

it is purple with joy williams' head on it

above joy williams' head it says 'joy williams'

i'll wear either my 'joy williams' shirt or my 'i am carles' shirt to all shoplifting from american apparel readings, i feel

people will think '[something about hipster runoff]' or '[something about joy williams],' both types of thoughts that might somehow cause people to want to buy my books or 'at least' think about googling me 'at some point'

'should i be revealing my secrets'

my secrets to a successful career

just briefly thought about my career arc, saw something like 'a long, thin tentacle flailing wildly in a "pitch-black" environment,' then felt confused 'how i could have seen' the tentacle if the environment was 'pitch-black'

now not sure 'at all' if i 'even' saw tentacles

feeling confused, 'did i just "imagine" "seeing" it'

is there a 2nd or 3rd 'level of reality' inside my head

just briefly saw a cheeseburger or something 'flying around'

i feel happy about the 'joy williams' shirt, joseph moore made, or 'created,' it

do people like blog posts like this blog post

am i 'stupid'

'above joy williams' head it says "joy williams"': 'damn'

wondering if i can somehow manipulate twitter's code to start a new kind of twitter where the limit is one word

seems like sometimes i would twitter 'damn,' sometimes 'jesus,' sometimes 'heheheheheheheeheheheehehe.com'

is there anything else

can't really think of other words i would want to convey

i guess sometimes 'sweet' or 'alone'

the 'most viral' 'book trailer' of 2009-2010

2009-07-27T22:18:00.029-04:00

Relevant links: Statistics, Goodreads page, Facebook group, Publisher's page

3x "early review" re Shoplifting from American Apparel (Melville House, Sept. 2009)

2009-07-24T16:55:00.026-04:00

7/15, "Damning" ([grad student], Tumblr)

Tao Lin’s newest work, a novella called Shoplifting from American Apparel, is like a version of Malle’s My Dinner with André written especially for glue-huffers and self-loathing masturbation addicts; in other words, Lin’s book is content with—and perhaps even self-consciously celebrates—its own banality and mediocrity, never aspiring to be anything more.

7/17, "Positive" (Michael Schaub, Bookslut)

[Shoplifting from American Apparel is] somehow both the funniest and the saddest book I've read in a long time, it's his best writing yet, and I strongly urge all of you to pick up a copy when it comes out in a few weeks. Tao is too original to compare to anybody, but his writing is more compelling and true than any young writer I've read in ages; his fiction reminds me of Mary Robison's best work. I recommend him highly.

7/24, "Diary rendered in third person" (Publishers Weekly)

The Internet has spawned a generation exceedingly more awkward, apathetic and lost than any that has come before—at least, this seems to be the message and intention of Lin’s underwhelming novella (after Eeeee Eee Eeee and Bed). Sam, a young writer with “good rankings on Amazon,” works at an organic vegan restaurant and spends much of his time checking e-mails and instant messaging with his equally detached friends while wandering downtown Manhattan and Brooklyn. There is, indeed, the shoplifting of a T-shirt (and, later, earphones), the acts—both of which end in Sam’s arrest—motivated by a need for “variety.” Though Lin strives to paint a portrait of a generation of disaffected youth “caught in the soft blue light of Internet Explorer,” this offers little more than lackadaisical pop culture reportage that reads mostly like a diary rendered in third person.

*PROSE STYLE DISCLAIMER* "caught in the soft blue light of Internet Explorer" is a misquote, the word "caught" is not used in that line in the book. *PROSE STYLE DISCLAIMER*

Relevant links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, "should I remix it" post, Goodreads page, Facebook group, Publisher's page

my unpublished novel (before 'eeeee eee eeee'); 'it's nice that' guest poster

2009-07-20T18:18:00.019-04:00

just read in my 'diary' from 2004 that i emailed 'about a dozen' people my ~100,000 word unpublished novel

i don't have the novel anymore, it was on a computer that i 'threw away' in a public trash can in jersey city and i think an aol email account that i don't have access to anymore

do one of those people that i emailed the novel to exist, where are you, can you email me back my novel, if you still have it, i would like to 'regain' my unpublished novel, in order to sell it on ebay probably, and am offering a $30 'reward'

i was a guest poster on it's nice that this week, they interviewed me and posted 1 thing a day from me (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Shoplifting from American Apparel (Sept. 2009) promotional post part five

2009-07-13T20:21:00.020-04:00

Release date: Sept. 15 2009
Genre: autobiographical, fiction, novella
Blurb: "Helluvanovella." - Daniel Handler
Blurb: "I loved the book." - Stephen Elliott
Blurb: "[N]ew favorite book." - Lesley Arfin
Early Reviews: here
Word count: 18167
Flesch-Kincaid grade level: 3.5

Relevant links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, "should I remix it" post, Goodreads page, Facebook group, Publisher's page

8.5" x 1.25" fuck america stickers

2009-07-09T12:58:00.014-04:00

can be purchased in the tao lin store

should there be a machine that makes you 'fall asleep immediately'

2009-07-08T23:55:00.002-04:00

seems weird someone hasn't invented this machine

honestly seems weird

have corporations that make sleeping pills sabotaged the invention of a device that makes you 'fall asleep immediately'

like how gm and other car companies sabotaged the electric car

have dozens of inventors been 'assassinated'

'has anyone "even" written a science fiction novel about a world in which this device exists'

almost seems like the world we exist in is a science fiction novel written by someone that exists in a world where this device exists

i imagine it being like ear muffs or something

you put the ear muffs on and 'are immediately asleep'

it should be invented by advil or even, like, google

'imagine how useful that would be'

seems like it would 'change the world' 'metaphysically' re how the printing press 'changed the world' 'physically' or something

small children would learn about it and maybe giggle uncontrollably then later in life compare and contrast it with the printing press in 5-10 page essays then later in life probably use it 3-10 times a day then later in life probably attend meetings where they discuss 'being addicted' to it then later in life probably 'set it' for 'asleep forever'

you would be able to turn a knob on the ear muffs to set how long you want to be asleep

desecrated my body to promote my literary career

2009-07-06T19:28:00.044-04:00

i feel the 'sole purpose' of this tattoo is to 'promote my career'

i see journalists 'inadvertantly' noticing my bluefin tuna tattoos, automatically asking if i have more tattoos

i see myself saying 'i have a fuck america tattoo' in a severely depressed monotone

i see journalists being at their computers late at night emailing their editors 'the lede of this article will grab people immediately and in a refreshingly bloggable manner, increasing the hits of the huffington post while fitting excitingly into the broader meme of generation y's increasingly relevant expressions of ennui, post elizabeth wurtzel depression, and pre obama optimism post 9/11; highly twitterable, specifically relevant to the lucrative 18 to 24 demographic, and image-based enough to get significantly reblogged re tumblr, i believe this would make a viral-ready article and would like to request more space in order to include a photograph and an in-depth analysis of lin's role in mainstream society'

journalists who 'hate america' will feel temporarily purposeful and 'work harder,' causing readable articles to be produced, affecting the average reader with the ability to 'retain interest' 'even after 2-4 full sentences'

additionally, by promoting a 'fuck america tattoo,' journalists will experience the vague sensation that they are fighting capitalism, saving the environment, and avoiding the 'crippling irony' that has afflicted so much of today's media content

in barnes and noble across the country, perhaps, people will whisper things in the poetry aisle

my career will blossom from something that looks like a rose that has been 'laying' in a cesspool 'deep in brooklyn' for 2-6 days into something that looks like a rose that has been 'trampled upon' for 1-3 days unintentionally on a sidewalk outside a non zagat rated indian restaurant outside park slope

has 'a new low' been reached in my career

feels both like 'i can't reach any lower lows' and 'obviously i will reach many more new lows, probably within 3-5 days'

just typed in gmail chat 'damn, typing the retardedest blog post ever' without using 'any' quote marks

typing the word 'retardedest' without putting at least one set of quote marks around it seems like 'a bad sign'

wonder if this blog post creates situations 'too meta' for journalists to successfully 'angle-ize' re their editors

or do modern journalists require some degree of meta in order to 'even begin to think about writing something'

when i think 'modern journalists' i see robocop sitting with straight posture on a wooden carton somehow 'eating' watermelon

not sure how, 'maybe "just" by absorbing it through his forehead using advanced technologies'

'he seems severely depressed'

just remembered another post where i end the post with an image of a nonexistent entity appearing severely depressed

'what does this all mean'

'is this what it feels like to be a character in a thomas pynchon novel'

honestly feels to some degree like i'm in 'the crying of lot 49' right now

*i don't smoke cigarettes & feel probably unable to philosophically defend smoking cigarettes

ad to probably appear at some point on hipster runoff

2009-06-30T14:37:00.019-04:00

buy brandon's book from brandon here; buy muumuu house goods/lifetime subscription here; view more ads here

Shoplifting from American Apparel (Sept. 2009) promotional post part four

2009-06-28T04:25:00.018-04:00

I think maybe twenty people have read a galley of SHOPLIFTING FROM AMERICAN APPARE (pre-order). That number factually could be "as high as" sixty or "as low as" eight or nine. If people read it then emailed me lying to me it could be "as low as" one or two. "As yet" no person has emailed me telling me the novella is really bad. (In the past few days one person has emailed me that I was a better person in 2005; a second human being has Facebook messaged me that I'm the "biggest fail on the internet"). Not sure if I'll ever write another "20-page short story" in the style of Lorrie Moore. Not sure if I'll ever publish another book that isn't "obviously shitty," like that I didn't intend to be "obviously shitty," in a way that displays "obvious, 'vaguely deliberate' disregard" for professionalism or "full-scale" thematic cohesion. Honestly not sure what I'm talking about, just want to keep typing. Seems these promotional posts should exist as large paragraphs. Seems like "steady cash flow without a real job" continues to elude me, as I enter my mid-mid-late 20's. If foreign sales re SHOPLIFTING FROM AMERICAN APPAREL "work" I can be "set for a number of years, or, like, one year." Not sure how to get countries like Austria, China, Mongolia, and South Korea interested in my forthcoming novella. I can honestly imagine a "laid-back" Mongolian reading my novella sitting in a chair outside a tent on a kind of "tundra" and enjoying it. "Just being honest." Think "the German EEEEE EEE EEEE" has "failed badly," but I'm not sure. Not sure what's happening in Germany. Feel certain EEEEE EEE EEEE will "fail" "big time" in Spain re this cover. I honestly "can't" currently remember what other country bought EEEEE EEE EEEE. I just remembered, it's Japan. "How did I forget Japan, I 'love' Japan." Not sure what to type about Japan publishing EEEEE EEE EEEE. There's an annual literary prize in Japan, the Akutagawa Prize, and one year two 19-year-olds won, I think. I read the winning book by Hitomi Kanehara (Wikipedia page is wrong re age she wrote it, I think) and liked it, I think. The other winner's book by Risa Wataya was not translated to English, it seems. Those two people were b. 1983 and 1984. I remember thinking about Japan's "literary scene" a lot for maybe three or four nights alone in the dark in my room at times like 2 a.m. or 4 a.m. I felt like maybe young people in Japan could somehow think I was an "exciting figure" or something. Since I'm far away from them and in a different culture, young people in Japan could think things about me, like how I thought certain things about certain things when I was 10 or something. Then I could go there and live in hotels. "Damn, 'what the hell' am I talking about right now." "Do people think I'm projecting 'Lost in Translation,' should I 'address' that." If SHOPLIFTING FROM AMERICAN APPAREL sells to 10 countries at an average of $4000 per country I will get something like $30,000, I think. Will this promotional post be effective, what have I conveyed in this promotional post. I currently have three readings in NYC around SHOPLIFTING FROM AMERICAN APPAREL's official release date of Sept. 8. I have a reading Sept. 8 at BookCourt, Sept. 10 at Spoonbill & Sugartown, Sept. 13 at the Brooklyn Book Festival. Should I wear glasses. Should I "act like a bro." Should I talk shit about myself continuously during Q&A's. What will be most effective re foreign rights sales. Seems like I'll "do anything" to maximize foreign rights sales. While walking to buy coffee today I think I "fantasized" "wearily" about a front-page New York Times Book Review review of SHOPLIFTING FROM AMERICAN APPAREL in a "foreign rights sales context." I felt the review would be by Keith Gessen or Benjamin Kunkel and that Argentina would feel impelled to "finally" express interest in foreign rights re Tao Lin "albeit cautiously." I imagined a 72-year-old editor in Argentina staring at the review thinking things like "move swiftly but cautiously" in a sarcastic manner with a neutral facial expression that due to age seemed like a "grim" facial expression. I felt he would probably die of a heart attack before the acquisition was made, "before the first draft of the contract were even completed." Seemed "bleak."

Relevant links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, "should I remix it" post, Goodreads page, Facebook group, Publisher's page

muumuu house extravaganza post

2009-06-20T16:55:00.063-04:00

1x bookslut blurb

"I read [DURING MY NERVOUS BREAKDOWN... & SOMETIMES MY HEART PUSHES MY RIBS] recently, and reread them both immediately after finishing them. Gorrell and Kennedy are the most talented young poets I've read in years, and their books are stunning — it's the kind of writing that's impulsive and emotionally raw, but also more layered and sophisticated than they appear. It's hard for any poet to be funny and heartbreaking in the space of one poem, or even one stanza, but it's a skill these young writers execute perfectly. They made me excited about poetry and independent publishing all over again." - Michael Schaub, Bookslut

1x official book release

brandon scott gorrell's during my nervous breakdown i want to have a biographer present is officially out today; go here to order it from him, read reviews and interviews, and view his reading tour schedule

"Such hilarious, surprising, aphoristic poems. They do not stop at funny: they move into the territory of sad; the drab panic of daily life." - Deb Olin Unferth, author of VACATION and MINOR ROBBERIES

11x coverage / relevant article

plan b magazine (uk) wrote a one-page feature article about muumuu house
poets & writers wrote a one-paragraph 'thing' about muumuu house
chris killen (uk) wrote a comprehensive article about muumuu house
michael schaub at bookslut reviewed muumuu house's two poetry books
molly young at 'we love you so' reviewed brandon scott gorrell's book
bomb magazine's blog interviewed brandon scott gorrell
matador published an article by brandon scott gorrell re his west coast book tour
kelley hoffman at 'the pipeline' reviewed brandon scott gorrell's book
megan boyle reviewed brandon scott gorrell's book and 'the brandon book crisis'
bostonist gmail-chat interviewed brandon scott gorrell
the examiner wrote an article re the muumuu house reading at brookline booksmith
kathleen rooney at octopus magazine reviewed ellen kennedy's book

6x reading

july 3, 7 pm at PPOW gallery, launch party for brandon scott gorrell w/ chelsea martin, zachary german
july 4, 4 pm at space space for poetry time w/ brandon scott gorrell, zachary german, abigail lloyd
july 5, 5 pm at cake shop for polestar w/ brandon scott gorrell, ellen kennedy, zachary german
july 7, 7 pm at brookline booksmith in massachusetts w/ brandon scott gorrell, tao lin
july 26, 5 pm at the anne bonney in seattle, dual launch party for brandon scott gorrell & jacob severn
july 30, 7 pm at pilot books in seattle w/ brandon scott gorrell, matthew simmons

*muumuu house products are available in the muumuu house store

selected blog posts from this blog arranged chronologically

2009-06-17T19:49:00.044-04:00

2005 - seems like a very long time ago, seems difficult to discern what it was like 'back then,' have 'hazy images' of 'myself eating pasta,' 'though in conjunction with what unit of information do i not have those images?'

writing and the internet and my novel - an msn blog or msnbc blog or something linked this and it got 'mad hits' but people then seemed to forget about it, i feel mildly afraid to reread it

kmart, kmart realism; the rise, struggle, decline of - i feel mildly afraid to reread this, i have distinct memories of thinking 'this seems really good' while working on it then while walking to the bathroom, being in the bathroom, and walking back to the nyu computer lab where i was working on it feeling excited about it; i think i confidently felt that it was 'very funny and maybe "sophisticated"' and that people would like it and that it might 'go viral' in 'the lit blog world' (when it was posted no one seemed to care, it received 2 comments)

giant 'joy williams' post - this is a 4-part post about joy williams, it includes things i found about her on lexisnexis and descriptions of all of her books and an essay by her that i read in an anthology in 'bobst library' when i was 'kind of obsessed' with literature that i typed in entirety into the computer

i went fishing with my family when i was five - a video of me reading this is available here, seems like if this were a children's book it could 'go viral' 'in real life,' i can imagine 'hip' 70-year-olds buying it but i can also imagine oprah-watching 70-year-olds buying it (i can also imagine many other kinds of people buying it)

2006 - seems like a very long time ago but somehow much less long ago than 2005

an essay on the difference between people who read nicholas sparks and people who don't read nicholas sparks - i feel afraid to reread this

11,000 word post about the functions of 'editing' someone that isn't yourself - i feel mildly afraid to reread this

i blogged about every story in my 2nd bear parade book - i started rereading this and felt a medium amount of approval toward it then felt mild fear and mild-to-medium amounts of boredom and stopped rereading it

a blog post about richard yates' oeuvre - i feel afraid to reread this

a two-part essay by me about writing - i feel very afraid to reread this

i blogged about every poem in my 1st poetry book - i feel 'pretty certain' that if i reread this i would feel bad

2007 - seems like a 'really modern' year, seems more like 2170 or 7000 than something in the 21st century for some reason, seems like i 'miss' 2007 'big time' but somewhat sarcastically

an essay about wanting to read at clayton banes' bookstore - i reread this and edited it a little while rereading it and liked it, i felt impressed at times

a blog post about self-promotion - i feel vaguely afraid to reread this

a blog post about noon magazine and kmart realism - i feel mildly afraid to reread this

giant blog post for journalists - would be 'very sweet' if this post went viral, seems like people used to click on this post in the past but not as much anymore, i'm not sure why that changed

an essay about cho seung-hui's killing rampage - i feel mildly afraid to reread this, i have emailed this post to people when they ask me questions about certain things, this post is maybe recommended for people who think i'm [something bad] due to [something about sarcasm or irony or apathy or ennui] maybe

the giant moose - i want to collect my animal things into a book maybe

the moose and the gerbil and the confused manatee - i felt surprised seeing this, i don't really remember writing it, seems like i 'needed' to be in a certain mood to write it, a mood that is 'rare' maybe

the nearly-severely depressed bird - i typed 'the nearly-severely depressed giant bird' at first (in this blog post)

the disappointed ant - ants seem funny, to me, 'in theory' but when i look at them it seems like they don't seem funny at all

giant blog post about readings i did in california and washington and oregon - i feel mildly afraid to reread this, i feel i've probably alienated 90-98% of the people mentioned in this blog post

the vegan muffin - i like my prose style in my stories with animals in them

penis dictionary - i feel mildly afraid to reread this, it was rejected by mcsweeney's, i remember thinking more than once that it was 'very funny' and would 'probably go viral' (when it was posted no one seemed to care, i think)

opposite of song of myself - for an amount of time i wanted to write more poems like this, in this tone and style, and have it be the tone and style of my 3rd poetry book; today i feel that this poem is 'enough' and that my 3rd poetry book's style continues to elude me

excerpts from fernando pessoa's 'the book of disquiet' - i like this book, seems like people feel weird about this book, in that people i thought would like it seem to feel weird about it and are quiet or kind of disapproving when i ask them about it

a blog post about the mississippi review and kmart realism - i feel mildly afraid to reread this

2008 - seems like 'one of the shittiest years i've been alive' but for 'no concrete reason,' probably just because i don't associate the number 8 with modernity or 'high quality meaninglessness' but with things like hamburgers, 'unsarcastic severe depression,' and 'lives lived without feelings of detachment' for some reason

a giant blog post about stephen dixon - i feel mildly afraid to reread this

the gay stepdad - i feel mildly afraid to reread this

a lot of people including clancy martin, deb olin unferth, and david ohle blogged about one event - i felt really surprised when i saw this while making this blog post, seems like clancy martin and deb olin unferth are very famous now, i feel 'pleasantly surprised' they participated in this, i still feel surprised right now, as i type this; hope this blog post 'goes viral' 'retroactively' but feel certain it won't

a giant blog post about various things or something - i'm going through this blog post adding descriptions to links i have pasted here, and when i read this link i felt that i didn't know what it was at all, seems like this post is notable only for being 'giant' and 'various,' not sure if something like this can 'go viral' at all

promote my career for me - i think this blog post was effective and got someone to add a 'bio' box on my wikipedia page, seems like i don't feel afraid to reread this blog post but also feel no urge to

a really giant blog post - seems like this blog post is notable for being 'really giant,' i honestly wonder if anyone will click this link

kafka is 'emo' - this post has excerpts from a kafka biography

a guide or something to kmart realism - this post has a 'kmart realism reading list' i think

a blog post showing i can be trusted - i feel medium-to-large amounts of fear re rereading this blog post, i feel 'weak' and like i have 'weakened' myself in a nondesirable manner, maybe, for having made this blog post, seems like certain pressures caused me (in a moment of 'weakness') to make this blog post, a blog post i normally wouldn't make, but i'm not sure, seems like i'm being a 'little bitch' right now in this description; however i feel that i would still 'be okay' with this blog post 'going viral'

a blog post about phrases that have been associated with me or something - this post probably damaged my career by doing what a journalist could have done in an article 2-4 years from now that would cause me to become iconic to some degree; instead i made myself 'less iconic' by demystifying myself maybe

the '1st ever' blog post about muumuu house - i feel tired, this blog post is 'taking so long'

'shoplifting from american apparel' promotional post part one - more promotional posts will arrive soon

2009 - seems 'really good,' as a year, like a newer version of 2007; think i might just like odd numbers more than even numbers, seems so close to 2010 that when i think about it it sometimes feels (contrary to my concrete reality) like i'm living in a glass dome in another galaxy where there are no cats, wood floors or other surfaces that have become impossible to make 'look clean,' or motor vehicles larger than ones that seem immediately 'notably small'

the 'can't concentrate' manatee - i feel tired

my development as a human being - i feel tired

a review of a book with jean rhys in it - i feel tired

a review of 'u and i' by nicholson baker - i feel tired

a kind of giant blog post about me being in germany - i think i like this blog post, someone emailed me saying it should be published as a book, i think i would like that, feel very mildly afraid to reread it

an introduction for 'it's nice that' issue one - i feel tired

a post promoting that my posts go viral that itself is a post that i want to go viral - i feel tired

a science-fiction themed post - a blog post about a machine that makes you fall asleep immediately

a post titled simple 'jesus' - i remember liking this blog post when i first blogged it

giant post re 'every japanese book i have read' re publication of the japanese translation of 'eeeee eee eeee' - contains descriptions of books by haruki murakami, hitomi kanehara, kobo abe, osamu dazai, genichiro takahashi, masanobu fukuoka, ryunosuki akutagawa; since this blog post i have read 'almost transparent blue' by ryu murakami 3 or 4 times and 'autofiction' by hitomi kanehara 1 time

interview with malcolm gladwell - i did this for 'gigantic magazine'

celebration of my art blog - the one-year anniversary of my art blog, features photography of my art by noah kalina

selected coverage re of 'shoplifting from american apparel' - a blog post of every 'notable or interesting or [certain other adjectives], in my view, to a certain degree' piece of coverage re 'shoplifting from american apparel'

decade in review - my life from ages 16 - 26

urban outfitters decides to sell 'shoplifting from american apparel' - contains information about the possibly forthcoming 'shoplifting shoplifting from american apparel from urban outfitters'

2010 - seems calm yet scary, not sure really, i see sunlight and grassy fields and full-page reviews in bookforum but i also see myself eating kashi cereal alone in my room while listening to the same bands i listened to in 12th grade whenever i felt 'really sad'

a 'pretty long' review of 'joe gould's secret' - if i wrote this now (8/17/10) i would probably edit it more and submit it to 'thought catalog'

1-star 'video review' re 'shoplifting from american apparel' on amazon - 'hehe'

'north american hamsters' - a blog post about my forthcoming iphone app, i think i currently (8/17/10) have ~15-40% of it completed, i want to publish it as a print book also at some point

3-part/2-hour lecture re art/'kmart realism'/philosophy - i have given the full presentation at 'kansas city art institute' and the art portion of the presentation at 'vassar' so far, i like doing the art presentation

'gidgetsparks' music video - i made the music and shot/edited the video for this music video, it is set in the house i live in's front walkway

nylon magazine - i had people vote on what i would wear in the september issue of nylon, people kept voting that i wear 'cum' on my face, i felt scared

'very giant' contest re 'richard yates' - i created a 3-part contest w/ maybe ~$2000 worth of prizes, i liked organizing this and reading/watching the entries

'richard yates' coverage - 'richard yates' receives a medium-large to large amount of coverage

2011 - 10 years since my first year of college

'the future of the novel' - 'ny observer' solicited me to write about 'the future of the novel' for them

'drug-related photoshop art' - vice published 13 'pieces' i made in photoshop

vintage/'third novel' - vintage buys north american rights to my third novel

2012 - seems like the future

A review of Land of Silence and Darkness by Werner Herzog by Tao Lin

2009-06-15T16:19:00.010-04:00

Land of Silence and Darkness (1971) is a documentary by Werner Herzog about people who are deaf and blind. One person was okay until she was a teenager when she became deaf and blind. She stayed in bed for the next twenty years. She really stayed in bed, according to the documentary, for something like twenty years and was very depressed during those twenty years, she said. Then she became very productive suddenly and rode buses to different places to teach deaf-blind people how to communicate using the deaf-blind alphabet which is conveyed by touching people’s palms and wrists. One person was blind and almost deaf and was trying to learn the deaf-blind alphabet before he became completely deaf and blind. One deaf-blind person forgot the deaf-blind alphabet and couldn’t communicate anymore. I think one blind person grinned while sitting next to his wife or sister when he said he forgot Braille and was going to be completely deaf soon but also didn’t feel like relearning Braille or learning the deaf-blind alphabet.

The movie showed a person who was born deaf and blind. He was dressed very professionally in a button-down shirt and sweater and was maybe 20-years-old. He had a facial expression like he had Down Syndrome or something like that. He hit himself in the face really hard with a ball and made loud noises and punched his own face sometimes. The noises he made sounded like seals or walruses maybe. No one had ever tried to “draw him out.” I think his father bathed and clothed and fed him for 20-years without trying to communicate with him. The movie said deaf-blind people who are born deaf and blind can be “drawn out” and eventually learn to communicate with other people. I believe the movie when it says that but I also feel unable to comprehend how that happens.

The movie followed the person who stayed in bed for twenty years as she rode buses to places to attempt to communicate with other deaf-blind people in hospitals throughout the country. I think the country was Germany. In one scene a lot of deaf-blind people went to a zoo. It showed deaf-blind people holding sheep and I think monkeys and I think getting licked by horses. I’m pretty sure there weren’t ostriches in the movie but I have images of deaf-blind people getting licked somehow by ostriches. During the zoo scene I felt emotional and sometimes grinned. The zoo scene was in a kind of montage and seemed to me like a parody of Hollywood movie montages but in way that made me feel Werner Herzog wasn't at all thinking about Hollywood movie montages when he edited it.

At the end of the documentary three people are on a bench. One is a deaf-blind man. The other two are the deaf-blind man’s sister and I think caretaker and her friend who is also a woman. The deaf-blind man is sitting between the two woman who are talking to each other. After one or two minutes the deaf-blind man stands and walks away. The camera follows the deaf-blind man away from the women who continue talking to each other. The deaf-blind man walks over a grassy lawn to a large tree that is alone on the lawn and stands there feeling the tree’s trunk and branches with his hands for a few minutes until the movie ends.

When I think about being deaf and blind I feel like crying. I feel like I would just sit there crying. It would be really strange. I wouldn’t be able to hear myself crying. If a deaf blind person talks aloud or screams things a normal person will probably go to them and touch them and that would be the only feedback the deaf-blind person would receive (unless both people knew the deaf-blind alphabet) for talking or screaming things. That is kind of funny I think. I know I really wouldn’t cry if I was deaf and blind. I would probably accept my situation, or accept the "reality" of it, after a few days and then my life would maybe be almost completely the same as before in terms of emotions. I honestly believe that. But maybe I’m not sure. I would feel really alone if I was deaf and blind. But people who read my poetry probably think “this person is really alone and depressed, probably he can’t be more alone or depressed.” Being deaf and blind might improve my life. Some people might say that’s a stupid thing to say, like I should be grateful for what I have, but it honestly to me seems not any more stupid than a deaf and blind person saying it might improve their life if they were not deaf and blind. It might be harder for me to be in power struggles involving other humans or be affected by certain hierarchies or be affected how certain people or things look like, or various other things that cause me to feel uncertainty and despair, if I was deaf and blind.

7x news item

2009-06-08T17:41:00.011-04:00

brandon scott gorrell interviewed me about his poetry book (read reviews here; order here or here)

here is my blurb for during my nervous breakdown i want to have a biographer present: "Brandon's first poetry book feels to me like 'a classic.' It seems to exhibit the 'high-quality' versions of meaningless, irony/sarcasm, and depression that I seem to 'crave' in literature, and I anticipate rereading it maybe 10-30 more times in my life (think I've reread it 3-7 times 'already'). I also anticipate regularly referring to Brandon's first poetry book in conversations with people, or with myself, in my head, for the next 1-30 years. In my view, based on what I know about the following things, 'new levels' of tone, sarcasm, meaninglessness, 'feeling bad,' and self-awareness have been conveyed by Brandon in his first poetry book."

my facebook url is now http://www.facebook.com/kmartrealism

meridian interviewed me

i interviewed clancy martin (clancy martin god debate)

i published poetry on my tumblr (2, 3)

reviews of 'the brandon book crisis' (~70 units still available) can be read

During My Nervous Breakdown I Want to Have a Biographer Present (Muumuu House, 2009) by Brandon Scott Gorrell "has arrived"

2009-06-01T02:25:00.012-04:00

Copies are available from Brandon Scott Gorrell (signed; recommended), the Muumuu House store, and Small Press Distribution. The launch party is July 3 at PPOW Gallery. The official release date is June 20.

To interview Brandon, request a review copy, profile Brandon, or profile Muumuu House email muumuuhouse [at] gmail.com or contact Brandon directly through his blog.

"Such hilarious, surprising, aphoristic poems. They do not stop at funny: they move into the territory of sad; the drab panic of daily life." - Deb Olin Unferth

"I like these poems. I really do. They made me laugh." - Matthew Rohrer

"I feel lonely, and while I'm lonely, reading this book makes me feel less lonely." - Noah Cicero

"I have been going through a thing lately of not feeling like I want to read, unless I 'have' to (like I'm on a bus or something), but I read Brandon's book and enjoyed it a lot and felt excited." - Chris Killen

During My Nervous Breakdown I Want to Have a Biographer Present (Muumuu House, 2009) statistics:

Paper: 55# Rolland Enviro Natural (100% recycled)
Pages: 88
Word count: ~10,100
Size: 5.3125" x 7.75"
Weight: ~4.7 ounces
1st printing: 2500
1st printing weight: ~692 pounds
Style: offset, perfect-bound, paperback
# of poems/stories: 37
Author photo credit: Nylon Magazine
Font: arial (exterior), helvetica (interior)
Goodreads page: here

Muumuu House books are distributed by Small Press Distribution or directly at a 58.33% discount. Lifetime subscriptions are available for $100. For more information go to Muumuu House's Facebook, Goodreads, or Twitter. Thank you for your time.

The Brandon Book Crisis (Muumuu House, 2009) "has arrived"

2009-05-27T16:39:00.010-04:00

Copies are available here. View excerpts here and here and more information and reviews here.

The Brandon Book Crisis is a 152 page paperback “thriller” conveyed through unedited Gmail chats, emails, voicemails, and text messages—featuring Brandon Scott Gorrell, Tao Lin, Jeff, Linda, Tod, Sarah, and others (view its index/glossary).

The Brandon Book Crisis is limited to 150 signed/numbered copies, and will likely sell out. The first ~20 copies have been mailed to Muumuu House lifetime subscribers.

Lifetime subscribers can 30-60% expect "surprise" books like this to "happen" at a rate of 1-5 every 2 years, I think. Lifetime subscriptions are $100, a price that will likely increase over time.

For an enlarged view go here. For more information go here. To view the entire index/glossary of The Brandon Book Crisis, slightly edited from what appears in the book, due to hyperlink considerations, go here.

Orders for Ellen Kennedy's book and preorders for Brandon Scott Gorrell's book can be made. The first printing of Ellen Kennedy's book (of which David Ohle, in a new blurb, said, "She's in control of the power of the ordinary. The kind of poet you want to meet after reading") is projected to sell out at some point. Thank you for your time and consideration.

"Is anything real," an essay by Tao Lin showing how some things might not be real

2009-05-26T17:08:00.057-04:00

Case Study #1, 2009

Apr 30 Brandon Scott Gorrell announces a short story contest run by Brandon Scott Gorrell. The contest guidelines say "i am going to choose the winning story based on how much i 'enjoyed' reading it."

May 23 Brandon Scott Gorrell posts the story he picked as winner of Brandon Scott Gorrell's short-story contest.

May 24 Michael Hemmingson says (~15th comment) the winner of the story contest does not exist and that he read a draft of the winning story, a month ago, authored by Tao Lin. ~30 minutes later Anonymous comments a link showing the winner exists.

May 24 Tao Lin says (~20-40th comment[s]) the story that won was written, at some point, to some degree, by Tao Lin, who then gave the story to someone else, the person who eventually won the contest. Tao Lin and Brandon Scott Gorrell say that Brandon Scott Gorrell did not have this information at the time Brandon Scott Gorrell chose the winner of the contest. Tao Lin lists the reasons he did what he did.

May 26 ~1:25 PM The Fiction Circus publishes an article called "Tao Lin Wins His Own Contest and Refuses to Refund the Entry Fee Money to the Other Contestants."

May 26 ~1:40 PM Edward Champion Twitters: "Did Tao Lin take prize money and defraud his fans? http://bit.ly/gPuBS." Edward Champion has 776 followers on Twitter.

May 26 ~3:30 PM Flavorpill Twitters: "Heh: Tao Lin wins his own writing contest. http://bit.ly/MLZca." Flavorpill has 3,284 followers on Twitter.

May 26 ~4:45 PM Brandon Scott Gorrell posts a response to the The Fiction Circus article, showing that almost every sentence in the article is factually incorrect, including three items in the article's title.

Case Study #2, 2008

Jul 31 Tao Lin announces that he is selling shares of his next novel and in the announcement says the novel is "linear, focused on one relationship, and a 'page turner,' I think, though also rereadable. While writing it I have been focused on making it so that you both 'need to see what happens next' and 'can turn to any page and read it and feel interested.'"

Aug 4 The Telegraph publishes an article called "Penniless author sells shares in next novel" that says "Investors can pay $2,000 (£1,000) in return for a 10 per cent share of the royalties of Tao Lin’s as-yet-unfinished second novel."

Aug 5 The New Yorker's book blog says "Tao Lin is selling ten-per-cent shares of the royalties for an unfinished novel on his blog."

Aug 7 BBC Radio says "a penniless author has sold shares in the royalties of his next book which he hasn't even written yet."

Aug 22 Gawker posts a blog post called "How Tao Lin Made A Quick Twelve Grand Selling A Novel He Hasn't Written!" ~9500 people have viewed this post in entirety; perhaps more than ~100,000 have read the headline.

Aug 23 Gawker posts a blog post that says "Tao Lin, who recently raised $12,000 in investors' money for a book that doesn't even exist." That day, or the next day, Tao Lin's publisher emails Gawker saying the novel is 95% finished. That day or the next day, when the post is likely no longer on the front page, "doesn't even exist" is crossed out and replaced with "'95% finished,' according to Tao." ~4500 have viewed this post in entirety.

Conclusion

The above two case studies, in addition to books I have read about various industries, for example Serious Adverse Events by Celia Farber, combine to make it seem to me like information that is not source information is also very likely "not real," or, "not accurate" information. Seems like misinformation usually begins when entities (in these cases Michael Hemmingson, The Fiction Circus, various pharmeceutical companies) "just say anything," usually something "not factual but newsworthy," which then gets "picked up" by portions of the media (in these cases Flavorpill, BBC Radio, Gawker) which focus on what is "newsworthy" over what is "factual" to a degree that they do not check the source, which is often "one link away."

Why does that happen

Portions of the media, whether not for profit (The Fiction Circus, for example, I think) or for profit ("all of them," it seems, except maybe ones that "actually make a larger profit by 'upholding journalistic standards,'" like maybe the New York Times), won't write about something that isn't "newsworthy," because things not "newsworthy" don't get as many hits as things that are "newsworthy." Some of the media (the portion of the for profit mentioned earlier that is also publicly-owned) is existentially required to increase profits and therefore "have no choice" but to do what will get them the most hits, causing more advertising revenue. This is not the CEO's choice and not even the corporation's choice. If the CEO or some part of the corporation is not contributing to increased profits the shareholders (which, though, includes members of the corporation) will vote the CEO or CFO or whoever is "holding back" the corporation out of their position, and hire a new CEO or CFO or team of janitors or whoever.

Interlude

May 26 9:26 PM Muumuu House publishes "selections from Miles Ross' Twitter account."

How I view certain things, today, having "personally experienced" and also "read about" certain things in the last five years

When I read things that are "newsworthy" I don't believe them, to some degree, a degree that increases based on factors I explained earlier. I automatically assume, to some degree, to a functional degree, I feel, that anything that is getting attention in the media is not accurate to a certain extent. I view many, or all, headlines, with a nearly-automatic assumption that it is not telling me accurate information, to some degree. I look at products with concrete (non-"artistic") functions and I try, firstly, to view the product (such as any medicine or vitamin or soap or cleaner or food, etc.) concretely and without preconception in order to see "what it really does," deliberately not believing the stated functions, to some degree

Epilogue re "Case Study #1"

May 26 6:37 PM Brandon Scott Gorrell creates a forum for actual contestants to post their feelings re the contest.

9x news item

2009-05-14T10:19:00.031-04:00

the poetry foundation published an essay by me, i just tried to reread it, seems unreadable

other essays by me: what i can tell you about seattle, levels of greatness a fiction writer can achieve in america, a review of 'the woodcutters' by thomas bernhard, an essay on kmart realism

jimmy chen reviewed 'the brandon book crisis' (order; more reviews here, here, here)

lee rourke reviewed 'sometimes my hear pushes my ribs' (order)

dennis loy johnson interviewed me about my $8100 myspace sale

muumuu house published everyone i've had sex with & elevated self esteem as a result of alcohol consumption by megan boyle

bomb magazine interviewed me

i created a muxtape and 'had sex' with red bull and published a 'long lost, recently rediscovered' poem

I think I'm "banned" from Gawker but someone emailed me a list of "items" to type about, I felt not sure what ~60% of these "items" were referring to

2009-05-09T17:02:00.020-04:00

I think "banned from and writing for" Gawker / previous Gawker coverage.

Oprah KFC Riot – Makes me feel like this “confirms” some suspicion I’ve never had like that Oprah takes baths in mashed potatoes to “relieve stress.” Perez Hilton wins "name/brand" lawsuit – Makes me feel like my penis is 5 feet wide but 2 inches long, and made out of marble, and in front of a Target somewhere. Wesleyan Student Killer, relateds – Makes me feel like eating overcooked steamed broccoli and cauliflower from a “square” in a tray, using some salt and a lot of pepper. Silda Spitzer reconnects with Eliot again – Makes me feel like I’ll feel “really sweet” when I masturbate when I’m over 50-years-old. Santa Barbara pool party, SB burning – Makes me feel like succesfully licking my own limp penis while alone, with no one around in a 5-mile radius, poolside outside a 8-million dollar mansion. new Eminem album leaks – Makes me feel like in the video for C.R.E.A.M. there is a tiny leprechaun in the background somewhere that hasn’t been discovered yet, and if you zoom in on it the leprechaun looks “really, really scary.” 539,000 jobs lost in april -- this is improvement – Makes me have images of people “being sweet” on front stoops throughout “the south.” Letterman - Animal Collective (maybe?) - Makes me feel like I have an in-grown penis that wants to cry but due to the physical law of the universe that two things of "matter" cannot occupy one thing of "space" cannot cry. Manny Ramirez on steroids – Makes me feel like the president should lecture Manny Ramirez in front of Manny’s extended family of probably 80-120 people. MIss California shit - Makes me wish I was a five-year-old Caucasian girl in a suburb of Los Angeles in 1999 with "sexy, medium-rich" parents and a "strong lineage" of excellent genes. Obama dijon mustard elitist scandal – Makes me feel like rubbing an organic soy hotdog on my penis then becoming confused at whether what I’m rubbing is my penis or the soy hot dog and then thinking “‘what difference does it make,’ hehe.” hipster grifter ratted out, captured -- Makes me feel like I'm at the post office staring without thinking anything at someone that looks "very Asian" but is speaking in a southern accent without any self-consciousness. Kindle DX revealed – Makes me feel like rollerblading so fast that my face burns off and then sitting in a reclining chair in heaven asking someone if they have “the new Updike” on their Kindle because “I’m low on funds but wanted to check that out.” Bristol Palin shit – Makes me feel like traveling back in time to when I was 11 and then going fishing with my dad and then eating Korean noodles after fishing and then going home and masturbating to something off a Nintendo game’s cover art. James Frey? – Makes me feel like combing my hair for 5-10 minutes with a “neutral facial expression” while thinking about “nothing.” Who will buy twitter? Apple, Microsoft, etc – Makes me feel like 6th and 7th graders’ new slang for either “small penis,” “ejaculation,” or “lay-up [in basketball]” is “Twitter.” Oprah and Jenny McCarthy join forces – Makes me feel like I’m not going to “cum" anymore in my life. Boston Globe survives – Makes me feel like I go into a movie theatre ready to see the new “Star Trek” and instead I see a five-minute video of an ant transforming into a Stegasaurus. end of the swine flu scare – Makes me feel like wiping sweat off my “brow” and then walking to a window overlooking a river and a tree and assuming an intensely “calm/pensive” facial expression.

american apparel's 'viva radio' will play this playlist by me in their stores 'worldwide'

2009-05-07T15:04:00.027-04:00

i was solicited by reynard seifert to contribute a playlist for 'viva radio'

wikipedia says 'viva radio' is 'the official in-store music and audio network for american apparel stores,' reynard says 'really though, viva radio is american apparel's online radio station[,] people do listen to it besides just in the stores[,] but it plays live in all of the [american apparel] stores world wide[,] and playlists are stored in the archive to be played by the employees or "normal people" when they don't want to listen to the live broadcast'

reynard says 'i am 99.9% confident that it will go up' and 'i think [dov charney] would think [track 7] is funny' (track 7 is me talking about 'how to make money by selling things on ebay' with 'softcore-emo classic' 'valentine' by 'the get up kids' softly playing on repeat in 'the background')

i think reynard added the 4th definition to taoism here

hopefully i can 'overtake' the religion, seems like the religion's oeuvre is 1-3 books (tao te ching, the zhuangzi, and [something by lao tzu]?), 'whereas by 2011 my oeuvre will be 6-8 books'

links: defiance, ohio, johnny hobo and the freight trains, the broadways, best friends forever, the stupid stupid henchmen, no-cash, leftover crack, the mystery books, neva dinova, line and a dot

an investment banker bought my myspace account

2009-05-05T19:08:00.019-04:00

today an investment banker associated with j.p. morgan posted an essay on my myspace blog

the investment banker, kevin chen, bought my myspace account to 'support the arts,' apparently

kevin 'nets' 160k a year, he seems smart

i'm excited to have diversified my identity into the business sector

seems 'cool'

not sure what else to blog about this

i've cried a lot since the last blog post

salt from my tears has 'caked, heavily' on top of my macbook's keyboard, and, as the crystals reflect the 'fluctuating glow' of the computer screen (going from statcounter to sales rank express to blogger to edensoy's website), it looks sparkly, like a magical land free of shit-talking

'tearing up' again

just stared through tears at the computer screen for ~50 seconds

now every time i open and close my macbook i hear 'crunchy' noises, from the salt 'grinding' against...the 'gears' (?), or something (microchips maybe), inside the keyboard

is this life

when will a shit-talker 'actually' 'kill me' in concrete reality

sales don't seem to be rising at all

is 'rising sales' an urban legend, does it even exist

is the toy poodle to the right what my career looks like to the new yorker, the pulitzer prize, bookforum, the village voice, larry dark's the story prize, the guggenheim committee, the NEA committee, the members of the NBCC, , and i guess the washington post

because i feel like that toy poodle

physically comfortable, 'ever-conscious of my alma mater,' facing away from the sunlight (so i can feel it on my backside, maybe), and 'about to fall asleep' though 'it's probably 1 p.m. and i just woke up'

i feel confused

what am i describing

do i want to be sponsored by 'a lesser-known company that manufactures adderall,' 'any farming collective in south america that grows organic coffee beans,' 'advil pm,' 'no-doz,' 'any brand of anti-depressant,' or 'the city in florida named "coconut creek"'

do i want to sleep or do i want to be productive

i have images of a person sleeping, then waking up, and doing things, then going back to sleep, seems normal

just felt confused about the difference between 'narrative arc' and 'career arc'

i sold my myspace account sold for $8100

2009-05-03T23:11:00.032-04:00

i'm rich

not sure what to blog about

i made a 'myspace account on ebay' collage to commemorate what has happened to me

still feel 'dead,' or 'empty,' on the inside

like a 'used' bottle of 'synergy' brand kombucha in a dark alleyway 'deep' in queens

am i lost or is 'everyone else' lost

seems like i'm probably inside a 'major downward spiral' right now, as i blog for the fourth consecutive day in a 'demystifying, livejournalesque, non-iconic-status-forming' manner

feels like the next 1-16 months are going to be 'insane'

i have images of coconut water somehow 'running away' from me when i'm really thirsty, or else evaporating 'extra fast' as i'm trying to pour it into my mouth

seems like i should buy a farm in tennessee

but then it seems like that isn't what i should buy

seems like i should buy a trampoline or 'amphetamines'

should i buy pizza

what can money buy

can money buy a wounded lemur or chimpanzee for the sole purpose of 'nursing it back to health'

should i go on an african vacation, a vacation to africa, to see lions

is a twenty-dollar bill sad or happy

where does money go after you spend it, in terms of yourself

what effect will the existence of shoplifting from american apparel and then richard yates have on my weekly carbohydrate intake, will a graph of it 'seem' 'interesting'

will any of my tumblr memes ever go viral

and will bookforum ever review one of my books

am i blogging 'way too much'

2009-05-02T15:58:00.019-04:00

should i link more people on my sidebar

since i started following less people on twitter i feel the same maybe

i feel like a character in 'lord of the rings' that wasn't in the movie and also wasn't in the book

since i wasn't in the movie or the book i'm not real, or something, but i'm sort of real, from a certain perspective

is that a feeling

'seems like i'm just typing whatever'

'i don't want to have a blog where there's giant blog posts every day'

'but that is what i have now'

have i become a contradiction, 'much like the universe itself,' also 'much like zen methods of existence' and 'light being both a wave and a [molecule?]'

will sales rise because of this, do i still have some 'aura of mystery' associated with my name, or am i like rosie o'donnell or someone like that, without any mystery, like a horse or pigeon

are horses mysterious, 'i'm not really even sure anymore'

by mysterious i think i mean, like, 'giant octopus' are mysterious

but typing that i'm not even sure, are 'giant octopus' mysterious at all

there is less than 30 hours as of 4 p.m. on saturday to bid on my myspace account

if bidding exceeds $15,000 i will post a sex video on this blog where i have sex to orgasm with five different inanimate objects of your choice

is that weird, do i not know how to promote myself anymore

if bidding exceeds $50,000 i will 'leave the internet' for five years

'damn,' just felt nervous typing that, saw myself reading jean rhys a lot, perhaps rereading all of joy williams, ann beattie, frederick barthelme, lorrie moore, etc., seems 'sweet' actually

if bidding exceeds $100,000 i will probably reprint james purdy's 'color of darkness' just to have a 'sweet' copy in my room, the cover would feature helvetica, probably something neon, the interior would be minimalist

is today saturday, just temporarily 'lost control' of the facility in my brain that locates me temporally in space-time

yeah, saturday, which means people won't comment on this post maybe, perhaps feeling fear that people will think they are reading my blog on saturday instead of surfing or something

i have 100% positive reviews on ebay, is anyone impressed

isn't there widespread knowledge on the internet that i 'can't be trusted'

what do i really want to type right now

feels like i just want to type similes

do i still 'just want to express myself' like two and a half years ago when 'you are a little bit happier than i am' came out

is there going to be a retrospective on the internet for that book

will one of my fans i haven't yet alienated 'hold' a 900-day retrospective for 'you are a little bit happier than i am'

how many fans have i alienated

when i'm working at taco bell, on my 20-minute break, in 2011, crying onto my burrito supreme, will i regret having alienated every person that did not produce 'sustained "warmth" and "excitement"' in me

or will i feel freedom, without my cell phone, tasting the sour cream, probably drinking a beer (against taco bell rules), only knowing what i can taste and see

is food 'the answer'

to what degree have i experienced 'meaninglessness'

if i had $1,000,000,000 how 'meaningless/beautiful/sad' would i feel, and in what manner would the feeling manifest prose-style wise (longer sentences? 'the sudden, glaring addition of mixed metaphors into tao lin's ouevre'?)

is 'pure' existential despair possible without having over $50,000 in your checking account

is that the purpose of the $50,000 guggenheim award

is my writing still socio-politcal, to some degree, how can i 'escape society' more fully, and is there a novel called 'nihilism' yet

seems like a title that could strongly brand a writer

where are all my shit-talkers, should i enable anonymous comments

where is my essay the poetry foundation solicited from me, it isn't on the site, i've fantasized 2-5 times 'already' about what to title the blog post linking it ('i've produced another "retarded" essay,' with the blog post linking my previous ones, mostly from 'the stranger), but it is not there, is this sentence harmful to someone

feels like i am going to win brandon's short story contest

does anyone think they can 'beat me'

i work 3-6 hours a day for ~30 days to create first drafts of 20-page short stories

but what if brandon doesn't like me, he might think my similes are more 'really annoying/trying too hard' than 'quirky/charming'

i mailed brandon $800 two days ago

i just confirmed with brandon, the winner of brandon's contest will also win a lifetime subscription to muumuu house ($100 value)

i can think of 'nothing better' re brandon's contest than if brandon wins and posts his own story

if i keep 'acting retarded' on the internet will i die

2009-05-01T15:38:00.009-04:00

i know i will die at some point, that isn't the question i'm asking in this blog post, i think

i think i feel already not sure what this blog post is 'about'

i think i'm interested in whether or not i will 'wither' and then die, in my chair, in the library, if i type certain sentences

will my heart shrivel, inside my body, causing me to 'die,' as i type certain words in certain combinations onto this blog

seems like i can do anything on the internet, which seems weird

i've censored myself 'so much' in my life, even on this blog, i think, not sure actually

not sure what is happening right now, as i sit here, typing onto this blog

does each sentence i type onto this blog cause 95% of prizes/grants/reviewers to 'move away from me' (i have images of them, like, rolling away awkwardly, due to their shapes; for the reviewers i have images of them putting their forefinger/thumb on their forehead/cheek and then sort of 'swiveling' their head away from me), does that seem funny to me or not

i have images of people staring at their computer screens feeling confused

tens of thousands of people in a giant stadium staring at computer screens feeling confused

'hm'

if i have any friends, can you (if you want to) bid on my myspace account to increase the price to like $80000, so that it 'becomes news,' i think this requires at least 2 friends (just experienced a moment of uncertainty re '2 friends,' seemed good)

this was suggested in the comments section of the post below this post

i have a tumblr

brandon is having a short story contest

i'm probably going to enter under several fake names

i'm excited

i'm also afraid

will brandon choose me

or will he choose someone else

will i cry if i lose

or will i just eat carbohydrates

i think galleys of 'shoplifting from american apparel' will exist somewhere within 3-4 weeks

the distributor will have a number of copies of the galleys, i believe

i feel neutral

i feel like the thing in middle school that tests whether a solution in chemistry class has been neutralized or not; i feel like the moment when the thing is seen to be neutralized, using a tab or something, with numbers on it

i feel like the moment when an 8th grader looks at the tab, feeling no interest in whatever 'lab experiment' it is for, and sees that it has been neutralized, and thinks 'neutralized' or something

not sure what i'm trying to describe, might be less an emotion than a 'tableau' or something

sort of can't believe i blogged again, 'so soon' after the previous blog post, with no real new news

should perhaps have consolidated these three 'myspace-ebay posts' into one post, to maximize comments and other reasons, yet i keep typing

is this what mike tyson felt like when he bit evander holyfield the second time

i feel highly aware that what i am doing right now isn't the ideal blogging technique to achieve my goals, 'though, what are my goals, hehe'

i keep having images of doors closing

just had an image of a window closing, seemed 'slightly abberant'

should i bid on tao's myspace account, are you asking yourself that

2009-04-30T16:48:00.012-04:00

interest in my myspace account being on ebay seems 'extremely low' after an 'initial flurry' of links and bids

my internet presence seems 'dead'

i have an image of an 'upside-down ant'

an ant lying on its back, or 'carapace' (unsure if ants have that), with x's over its eyes if you 'zoom in'

i feel okay

seems like my career is over

i feel calm, like a turtle 'sipping' pond water

is the dog to the right a visual representation of my career, seems likely

feels like i'll be a manager at taco bell in 2-3 years

almost every post on this blog that i make now seems to me like something i would see as the last post on a blog that hasn't been updated in 5-8 years

i feel that winning my myspace account can cause you to get mad hits

you could post my personal messages on your site

corporations should feel interested

institutional investors or something

bookforum or the village voice or htmlgiant could buy my myspace account and do things with it to increase their hits

can't people see that profits can be made, when will bookforum 'open its eyes'

elimae could buy my myspace account, seems funny

i wish james yeh would buy my myspace account

any 'random ass bro' could buy my myspace account and send bulletins promoting themself

when pieces of toast with jesus on them sell on ebay it's mostly local business that buy them, i feel, in order to promote themself

does this not have the same potential

should i have taken photos of my myspace account showing the face of christ on the computer screen

where are my fans that have real jobs at banks or google or something, have they left me for n + 1, 'where is all the money going,' is everyone just buying beer or something

do i have fans that aren't really poor high school drop outs with marijuana-smoking fathers

doesn't anyone want to 'be me' anymore, perhaps i am in a 'dead' phase where interest in me is shifting from 'real' to 'ironic'

i can think of 'nothing better' re my myspace account's auction than if the members of htmlgiant 'teamed up' to win it

i feel afraid of what i might type next

going to end this blog post now

a new, 'really retarded' ('yet functional, i feel') gimmick has arrived ('again,' i guess)

2009-04-26T20:00:00.012-04:00

my myspace account is on ebay, if bidding exceeds $666 i'll block out all information that causes people to think my myspace account 'isn't really tao lin' and affirm to people that 'it's really me' even as 'the new owner' is repeatedly myspace-messaging adrian tomine or whoever

seems like it 'doesn't matter at all' if my identity doesn't exist

is the internet real, is the internet becoming 'more concrete'

feels like the opposite, like the internet is becoming 'even more abstract,' is almost now 'beyond my range of "comprehension" or something'

if people cause people to associate 'bad things' with the concept of 'tao lin (b.1983),' causing people to 'treat me differently' 'in real life,' like hate me more or something, in concrete reality, will i be able to 'trace back' how people are behaving toward me to 'me not being in control of my myspace account anymore' or 'me not doing a lot of work to dispel rumors about me'

or will that be too complicated for me to think about, and i'll just feel more amused, and less 'sad' or 'bored,' or something, that people hate me for 'no reason that i can remember' or are talking to me about 'things i have no memory of'

seems almost preferable to 'have no identity' and 'have little or no agency' re what people know about me or how people behave toward me

in concrete reality, at any point in my life, currently, i 'see' maybe 1-4 people 'regularly'

everything else seems 'really abstract,' like it's all 'inside the internet,' a strange place where i feel okay with anything, it seems

i'm glad i won't have a myspace account anymore, i feel that my internet presence is 'making more sense' now

in the past i used garamond and had a .blogspot url

after this week i can type 'in the past i had a myspace account' and have it be accurate

not sure about the tone of this post, seems like i've 'given up' in some ways

in other ways it seems like i 'finally care,' in that i 'finally' am 'getting rid of' my myspace page

perhaps i have 'simply' 'evolved' to a different 'level' of [something], 'leaving behind' 'even' the concept of 'giving up' or 'not giving up,' in the same way if i had half my brain removed i would lose 'even the possibility' of certain concepts, 'hehe'

6-11x news item

2009-04-21T19:06:00.036-04:00

the launch party for ellen kennedy's sometimes my heart pushes my ribs is this saturday, april 25th, at 7 pm at cafe orwell (247 varet street, off the morgan L stop), there will be free alcohol, copies of ellen's book will be $7, go here and here for more information,

after ellen kennedy's launch party there is the gigantic launch party one L train stop away, off the jefferson stop, from 8 pm to 3 am i think

i interviewed malcolm gladwell and was interviewed in issue one of gigantic

for recent ellen kennedy information go here, to order her book go here

follow me on tumblr to regularly see things not able to be seen on this blog

i'm in issue one and two of gustaf who interviewed me here

*still available* i have a baby grand piano, it is in an apartment i'm not in anymore, the people don't want it there anymore, if someone pays for people to move it you can have the grand piano, it is off the montrose L stop, it will cost maybe $200 to move it from there to your apartment, it was in a playboy photo thing, email binky.tabby [at] gmail.com *still available*

art ordered from the tao lin store will now be mailed within 24 hours, i have received the prints, previous orders have been mailed

my publisher/editor was on tv

a gmail chat between me and carles has been posted on muumuu house, for 2x 'locus of moderated shit-talking' ('unsure if "locus" is used 'correctly') go here and here

'5x-8x additional centers, or "locations," for shit-talking, unmoderated' are available here

essay about Brandon Scott Gorrell's DURING MY NERVOUS BREAKDOWN I WANT TO HAVE A BIOGRAPHER PRESENT and the future of Muumuu House

2009-04-17T16:57:00.060-04:00

2500 copies of DURING MY NERVOUS BREAKDOWN I WANT TO HAVE A BIOGRAPHER PRESENT are being printed and shipped for ~$3700. Muumuu House and Brandon have discussed things and it has been decided that Brandon will, instead of a 50% profit share, receive a one-time "package" of 600 copies of his book ($7,200 retail value) and $800. The $800 will be paid to Brandon ~April 30th; the 600 books will be shipped to Brandon ~May 20th. Brandon's potential profit after Paypal/shipping costs is ~$6,500. Muumuu House's potential profit is ~$6,000 (see below) and that it will become unnecessary to some degree to do certain things that "seem like a job," for example keeping records of fees paid to SPD/Amazon/Paypal.

(In facilitation of "Brandon's quest to achieve $6,500" Muumuu House encourages you to preorder signed copies directly from Brandon and read his blog post about how he spends money and other things related to the blog post you are currently reading.)

Muumuu House anticipates mailing/giving ~500 free copies of Brandon's book to bookstores, magazines, people whom Muumuu House likes/wants to share the book, people "in the lit game," people "in the target demographic," people at parties/readings, friends, "strangers" on the street or in stores.

1400 copies (2500 - [600 + 500]) at $12 each equals ~$16,800.

$16,800 (1,400 copies sold at $12 each)
- $3,700 (printing/initial shipping of 2500 copies)
- $4,500 (estimated amount paid to Amazon/SPD for ~700 copies sold through them)
- $2,000 (estimated amount shipping copies to people/Amazon/SPD)
- $1,000 (packaging/shipping 500 free copies)
- $0,800 (Amazon, SPD, ISBN, Paypal, etc. fees)
- $0,800 ("bonus" paid to Brandon)
+ $2,000 (surprise packages/lifetime subscriptions, etc.)
_______
_$6,000 (potential profit for Muumuu House)

I feel it may take ~1 to ~5+ years to sell ~1400 copies. I feel strongly that Brandon's book will become "a kind of classic" (as I feel with Ellen's book), that it will be referred to by people in the future and remain "known" for 10+ years or something, and that Brandon's second poetry book, blog, first novel, etc. will continue to generate interest in Brandon as he remains alive, and doing things, in the world; and so I felt secure, and other things, printing 2500 copies. I anticipate 2nd, 3rd, etc., printings of any book published by Muumuu House

I feel that the amount of money I directly gain from Muumuu House will be something like -0.50 an hour to $1.50 an hour. I paid a 60% down payment on the 2500 copies today and currently have ~$500 in my bank account. I am expecting a ~$5,500 check from Melville House ~April 30th, a $750 check from Poetry Foundation ~April 25th, a ~$175 check from Action Books ~now, and maybe other checks I don't remember right now. I think I receive ~$10 - $75 a day through the Tao Lin store and the Muumuu House store. I feel financially secure. I feel that "steady cash flow without doing things I 'don't want' to do" is "closer" than it was 6 months or 1 year ago.

I feel that I would rather "shut down" Muumuu House or do bad things to myself than "complain" about anything re Muumuu House, do anything to make a Muumuu House author "unhappy" or like "another thing has caused them to feel disappointment, in the world," or "other things of 'this' nature."

I feel that promoting Muumuu House in a mildly passive manner, with attention toward not causing people to feel that "the world sucks" or "another shitty thing has been created"; giving away many free copies of Muumuu House books; publishing only people that I like, can talk to without feeling "weird," communicate with often, and to some degree "won't get angry at me (or 'at all') or feel 'really and unselfconsciously bad,' due to their worldviews, I feel, if their book 'completely fails' or if other 'bad things' happen to them"; and being "very generous, relative to other publishers or other business things" to Muumuu House authors are things that make my life seem more exciting to myself and (in terms of not becoming increasingly insane or depressed or bitter, or other things, over time) more "sustainable," like I'm not on a "shit-slide to hell," but perhaps even the opposite.

In terms of finances, despite "direct" gains being negative or 1/6th of minimum wage, I honestly feel that "overall" I "probably actually" will make more money, in the long-term, having Muumuu House, because there will be more money-related opportunities for me, due to more people knowing about me; more people "feeling okay" supporting me by buying my books; more people knowing about and "investing" their time and money in me and other people associated with Muumuu House, people who link me and who I link; and more things happening to me, in my life, to distract me from "crippling" forms of "low-level, vaguely illogical, ultimately unmotivating existential despair" or "unsarcastic, 'melodramatic' severe depression" that would decrease my levels of productivity and therefore the amount of money I can make.

To elaborate on the word "sustainable," from above, I feel that the chocies I am currently making will contribute to me feeling (when I am 30 or 50 or something) to some degree "really calm" and "consistently beautiful and meaningless" and maybe "strongly 'okay' with anything including death." (In terms of writing/"art" I feel that those attributes are ones that will cause me to more effectively make or do things that will cause me to feel excited.) I feel also that I will be in control of some kind of thing (Muumuu House, or something else) that is "not highly in oppository reaction to anything else" but independent, and "personal," and therefore separate, to some degree, from "shit-talking entities" or other types of things that make me feel "confused," "bad," or "like I'm entering, or reentering, into worldviews that I feel will make me feel 'bad,' are not 'sustainable,' in my view, and (perceiving worldviews as artistic, or existential, things) are not worldviews that I enjoy 'experiencing,' whether inside my own head or from other places)." In extension of that, I will also have wide-ranging access and knowledge and "connections," I feel, when I am 30 or 50 or something, to people and organizations that I like; that are, to some degree, the opposite of "shit-talking entities," "not making or promoting 'art' that is highly in oppository reaction to other things," "non-existentially political things," "[unsarcastically views] 'things of art' as 'good' or 'bad,'" or "[certain other things]."

Another thought I have had is that I will continue to "lose" money for the next 3-8 years, and, because of that "investment," then "move into" something else, where perhaps more money than I normally spend will come toward me steadily, and at a steadily increasing rate, at which time I will "still" continue to "lose" money, but by doing things I have never done before, in my life (and experiencing "new" feelings caused by those things), like giving money to certain people openly or giving away like 5,000 books for free in weird ways or buying ad space in weird places and making the ads weird or something. If I can create a system where most of the things I do or am in contact with are "free of shit-talking or 'implied' shit-talking," where most of the things I do or am in contact with are not "a highly oppository reaction" to something else but "just 'what [I] like,' regardless of what it is 'copying' or 'similar to,' regardless of what 'already exists,'" and where most of the things I do or am in contact with are "leading" toward a "more pure" form of itself, in that it is rarely "stagnant," I feel that there is larger chance that when I am 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 I won't unsarcastically hate my life, other people, or life itself; and that when I am 70 or 80 or 90 I'll be able to die without [I don't know, feeling "really confused" or "bad" or something maybe].

Thank you for reading about Muumuu House and my thoughts about Muumuu House and the future.

Edited draft of an "introduction" by me

2009-04-11T14:24:00.001-04:00

for the issue 1 of It's Nice That (republished in further edited form at Thought Catalog)

"Nice"

I think I am glad the word "nice" exists. It allows people who "like" certain things to abstractly describe those things without using the word "good." I feel that using the word "nice" to describe something can imply "I like it but it is not wrong to dislike it" whereas using the word "good” can imply "I like it and therefore it is wrong to dislike it." In conclusion of this paragraph I think the existence of the word “nice” allows people who think “there is no good or bad in art” to say things about art things while still feeling like “there is no good or bad in art.”

In terms of abstractions I mostly associate the word “nice” with calmness, detachment, cleanliness, and denying one's urges to allow others more opportunities to satisfy their urges. My strongest concrete association with the word "nice" is maybe any kind of scene where a 15-45 year old male walks in on a sexual act between a male friend and a female (that he and his male friend had earlier discussed) and then says or thinks "nice."

My main usage of the word "nice" is maybe thinking "nice" to myself whenever something happens where “reflexes” show they are effective, impressive, and recently successful. For example if I am walking to a table and a muffin unexpectedly falls from my hand and me or someone else catches the muffin before it touches the ground I will automatically and immediately think "nice." The more perilous the situation, like if the ground is really dirty or the muffin is “heavily frosted,” the more intensely I will think "nice” probably.

But I feel that no matter how intensely I think "nice" I will always think it in a calm, detached manner. If my head is about to be severed by a guillotine in 12th century England and people are spitting at me and calling me a traitor, and I am thinking hard about how to escape the situation, and I see someone in the crowd accidentally drop an ear of corn then catch it less than 12 inches from the ground with their foot, I honestly feel that I would stop thinking about how to escape from the situation in order to focus all my energy on thinking "nice" in a calm, detached manner.

The word “nice” makes me feel more meaningless and accepting of death maybe. If “there is no good or bad in art (or, viewing ‘everything’ as art, no good or bad in anything)” then it is neither good nor bad if I die (or something like that).

In conclusion I like the word “nice.” If there are ten people in a room and one person says “[a painting or book or something] is good” a certain conversation will occur whereas if one person says “[a painting or book or something] is nice” a certain different conversation will occur. I currently prefer participating in and listening to the second kind of conversation. I would like to add that I usually do not really think or do not often think "nice" or "not nice.” I usually think things like “wow,” "funny,” "haha,” “[nothing],” “damn,” or combinations of those like “wow, haha.” But I feel maybe that most or all of those could replace “nice” in this essay and not change the essay.

new bear parade book

2009-04-09T16:53:00.001-04:00

nervous assface by brandon scott gorrell

01) Lizzi Kepsel (> 1500 words	14) Nicholas Richards (> 1500 words)
02) Andrew Schwem (> 1500 words)	15) David Fishkind & DJ Berndt (> 500 line Gmail chat)
03) Everett Bogue (> 1500 words)	16) Emily Eno & Kate Jones (> 500 line Gmail chat)
04) Chris Moran (> 1500 words)	17) Danielle Unger, Andy Axel, & "Kyle" (> 500 line Gmail chat)
05) Jose Diaz (> 1500 words)	18) Juan Moscoso (> 1500 words)
06) Camille Thomas (> 1500 words)	19) Ben Rosamond (> 2000 words, New Zealand)
07) Brook Winters (>1500 words)	20) Victoria Trock (> 1500 words)
08) Nikki Lentz (> 2000 words, Germany)	21) Sam White (> 1500 words)
09) Colin Marshall (> 1500 words	22) Zac Zellers & Noam Flam (> 500 line Gmail chat)
10) Michael Woodside (> 2000 words, Canada)	23) Tyler Trykowski (> 1500 words)
11) Liam Crocker & "Jared" (> 500 line Gmail chat)	24) Andrew James Weatherhead (> 1500 words)
12) Ted Gillespie (> 1500 words)	25) Mike Kramer (> 1500 words)
13) Buttercup McGillicuddy (> 1500 words)	26) Megan Boyle (> 1500 words)

TAO LIN | BLOG

vice published a 'piece' by me titled 'top 10 unpublished articles of 2011'

i created an acronym, 'ufsi'

vintage purchased u.s./canada rights to my third novel

vice published a ~5000-word story by me titled 'relationship story'

vice is publishing a weekly column by me titled 'drug-related photoshop art'

'ny observer' published a 'piece' by me

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

'thought catalog' republished a 'piece' by me

gawker reported on my 'live-tweeting' of a boltbus driver being arrested

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

i am blogging 6-12 times jan 17-24

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

paper published a graph by me

i am blogging 6-12 times dec. 6-10

MDMAfilms

'chandler levack' interviewed me ~2.5-hours/'irl' while i was 'on' mdma

"selected coverage" re Richard Yates

*contest* discern what drug i'm 'on' *contest*

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

canteen published a 'piece' by me

'the atlantic' published an article about me

gawker published a 'piece' by me

"3x contest" re Richard Yates

control what i will be wearing in the september 'nylon'

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

interview questions i 'feel interested in answering'/'feel less interested in answering'

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

sometimes my heart pushes my ribs (muumuu house, 2009) by ellen kennedy

my new formspring account

'thought catalog' published a 'piece' by me

'richard yates' is 'the rumpus book club' selection re august

new art & gallery show

'the official chuck palahniuk website' interviewed me

i created a music video w/ gidgetsparks

~60x student re 'college of coastal georgia' are discussing stories from 'bed' on twitter

Tao Lin "booking info"

'shitstorm alberto' (the first shitstorm of the 2010 season)

2x film option, 3x foreign rights sale

24x poem by me

modular posted an 82-minute 'mixtape' by me

i am creating an iphone app entitled 'north american hamsters'

my 'reading diary'

'the poetry foundation' published an essay by me

Richard Yates, "Tao Lin's second novel" (~55,600 word count)

6-minute/1-star amazon video review re 'shoplifting from american apparel'

three stories from 'bed' and some of 'eeeee eee eeee'

Joe Gould's Secret by Joseph Mitchell

"a decade in review" re Tao Lin, ages 16 - 26

the 'tao lin photoshop self-portrait w/ "1983 - ????" commentary' shirt

Urban Outfitters has decided to sell "Shoplifting from American Apparel" in their stores

michael silverblatt interviewed me for kcrw's bookworm

norway has purchased 'shoplifting from american apparel'

"selected coverage" re Shoplifting from American Apparel

0 people entered my contest

experimental contest, ends wednesday at 11 pm (eastern time)

a review of three documentaries by werner herzog by me

"one-year anniversary" re hihihihihihihihihiiihihihihihihihhi.com

"'grassroots'* promotional campaign" re Shoplifting from American Apparel

'hehe'/'damn'

gmail chat me while i am on methadone, adderall, green juice, or iced coffee

npr's 'weekend edition'

Malcolm Gladwell interview in Gigantic Magazine

guardian article

found 'ancient' edition of james purdy's 'color of darkness' in 'cure for cancer' thrift store, purchased for 25 cents / 'fuck america' stickers

Japanese "Eeeee Eee Eeee" (Kawade Shobo, 2009)

"I Am Carles" clothing sponsorship

"September/October reading tour" re Shoplifting from American Apparel

jesus

twittered 'jesus' today

the 'most viral' 'book trailer' of 2009-2010

3x "early review" re Shoplifting from American Apparel (Melville House, Sept. 2009)

my unpublished novel (before 'eeeee eee eeee'); 'it's nice that' guest poster

Shoplifting from American Apparel (Sept. 2009) promotional post part five

8.5" x 1.25" fuck america stickers

should there be a machine that makes you 'fall asleep immediately'

desecrated my body to promote my literary career

ad to probably appear at some point on hipster runoff

contest discern what drug i'm 'on' contest