experimental contest, ends wednesday at 11 pm (eastern time)
the email address that paypals binky.tabby [at] gmail.com the largest amount* of money by wednesday at 11 pm wins this 'experimental contest' (no amounts will be revealed until the end, and then only by email to those who 'participated,' and no amounts will be returned, as this isn't an 'auction,' but a kind of 'gamble'), gaining for themselves, their friends, and their family the items in this video
i feel scared and, 'surprisingly,' sort of, though also 'not surprisingly,' it seems, 'depressed' (but in a 'really vaguely' sarcastic manner, or nearly toneless manner, maybe) and a little nervous about this 'experimental contest'
not sure what i feel exactly
just seems like it is a 'melancholy' and somehow 'scary' thing to do, like i am 'splicing' the genes of a human baby with those of a hamster or bluefin tuna; feels, also, though, like i 'must' do it, like i am kissing a girl that might be going on vacation for 2 years and doesn't know how i feel about her; though, additionally, it also feels like 'i "can't believe" it has "come to this,"' like i want to hide in a closet and 'whimper' while holding a stuffed animal immediately after clicking 'publish'
thank you for reading this blog post, if you feel 'angry' or 'vaguely annoyed' at me i understand, i think, and do not discourage you from expressing yourself, resultingly, in the comments section of this blog post
i feel scared and, 'surprisingly,' sort of, though also 'not surprisingly,' it seems, 'depressed' (but in a 'really vaguely' sarcastic manner, or nearly toneless manner, maybe) and a little nervous about this 'experimental contest'
not sure what i feel exactly
just seems like it is a 'melancholy' and somehow 'scary' thing to do, like i am 'splicing' the genes of a human baby with those of a hamster or bluefin tuna; feels, also, though, like i 'must' do it, like i am kissing a girl that might be going on vacation for 2 years and doesn't know how i feel about her; though, additionally, it also feels like 'i "can't believe" it has "come to this,"' like i want to hide in a closet and 'whimper' while holding a stuffed animal immediately after clicking 'publish'
thank you for reading this blog post, if you feel 'angry' or 'vaguely annoyed' at me i understand, i think, and do not discourage you from expressing yourself, resultingly, in the comments section of this blog post
*if there is 'a tie' the tied email addresses will have 10 hours to paypal another amount in a 'nerve-wracking' (but ultimately fun) 'paypal showdown'; if there is another tie the 'paypal showdown' will be repeated, 'and so on' / to avoid contest fraud i will screenshot the highest paypal amount and email it to every email address that paypal'd (a list of every 'contribution' amount will also be emailed to all 'contributors,' for sociological purposes); also you can look at my 100% positive ebay rating to 'assuage your untrustworthy "soul"' (if you want to); finally, if the winner of this contest wants this i will post a screenshot of 'their contribution' (tax deductible) and link their internet presence or an internet presence of their choice
62 Comments:
rent due?
this is more sad than your last contest
please post the names / amounts sent of all the people who send you money so that they will be / can be publicly humiliated for being the most retarded and gullible individuals in the entire universe
cheers to you if you can actually get people to send you money for a grab bag of shit.
I feel glad I saw the video that was up here before and then taken down.
I feel sad because no one else will see it again. You were a good video, you did your best.
fuck
wait, so this means that anyone who gives you less than the highest amount of money does not get any of their money back?
Correct me if i am wrong about the stipulations. I would be happy to bid on it if i knew that if someone bid higher than me, i would get my money back because i am not getting anything....
but that's not what you're doing, right? it's "only the highest amount gets the win, everyone else gets 'shit all'", correct?
@brendan, you are correct, no money will be returned; when you paypal it is like a 'gamble,' in that sense
It's kind of a gambling donation.
mildly hate myself for wanting your stuff.
*buttercup likes this*
seems ' chill'
fuck you.
reading 'conor oberst sex', 'clams', some parts of 'bed', 'sfaa', some other stories here and there and in bear parade, i've observed the following:
the women writers/characters in the internet literary community/fiction seem 'hysterical' and the male writers, who seem 'passive', 'intolerant', 'meditative', 'prolific', 'prominent' fuck all of them, then leave all of them.
it's all 'okay' too because the males seem to operate on 'higher', more detached 'existential precepts', while the women are 'only trying to catch up' and 'understand meaning/meaninglessness'.
can't help but think gorrel and lin are getting 'mad lit pussy'.
i'm fucking jealous, right now. ha ha.
this is dumb.
I think the clever cancels out the diabolical. If somebody wins the jackpot for $3.57, I think they will feel pretty good about it. And maybe there's a collector out there who just knows in his bones that nobody is going to go above $200 dollars, so . . .
save your money, kids.
paypal bryancoffelt@gmail.com $500 and i will send you a t-shirt with your name written in semen.
is this legal? what is paypal's policy regarding gambling?
this is not legal
If I paypal you $3000 will you personally deliver it to my home?
Wait, is this legal? Someone should do some research.
It is a competition, but it is not gambling. Is entering a car race and trying to outspend your opponents on building a faster car for that race considered gambling? It's not.
sweet
Here's a crazy idea... Get a job.
Looking forward to 'Bed'-style story.
Pooping right now
oh, shit
@richjensen 'sweet' re "It's kind of a gambling donation."
@ME what about this
@chronicmasturbator 'yes' re "If I paypal you $3000 will you personally deliver it to my home?"
@djberndt seems legal, i don't know how this couldn't be legal, also feel like it is irrelevant if it is legal or not, while knowing that i don't know how it couldn't be legal, re "Wait, is this legal? Someone should do some research."
i don't have the money for this right now. i wish someone i know would just buy all that so i could look at it or something.
brandon scott gorrell will mysteriously win
This made me laugh due to it's brilliance
I'm donagambling 2 dollars and 3 cents. maybe 5 cents. MAYBE.
DON'T FUCKING TELL ANYONE.
(I'm not actually giving money. I've got a house to pay for! and taxes.)
You should transfer all the money you have in it out of your PayPal account just in case they suspend your account. They've done this for specious reasons before.
@a.wolf re 'i don't have the money for this right now'
if you paypal 34 cents you have a chance of winning
you can win with nearly any amount of money
many people might be afraid that many other people are 'entering' and making it so they can't win as easily
causing everyone to 'hold back,' due to fear, 'in turn' making what they fear something that then doesn't exist, in part due to their own fear
causing the single 'brave' person who enters with 56 cents or 89 cents or something to 'win'
these have been some objective thoughts by the organizer of this contest
This is ok. You can do this.
It may not be technically 'ok', but you can do it anyway. It's ok.
hmmmm... noticed a swastika in my bookmarks... funny stuff mr. lin...
oohhh now i understand, thanks tao. as the organizer of this contest, could you fill us in on how many people have entered so far?
we need their names too
so that we can laugh at them for being retarded
@a.wolf part of the 'gamble' is that no information about 'how many people' or 'what amounts' is given
I hope you're successful; my guess is you'll raise almost 700 'dollars'. There will be a few people who can afford to gamble 'big'. The success of this might even let you do it again, with increased value.
As a well-off person of privilege I would like to help give the less rich adventurous spirits a chance to 'express' themselves. I will paypal $15 to whomever posts the closest prediction of the total amount here.
I say 700
~$1600
$666
$665
$150
149
@zeroreference
can we post multiple times?
like, can we revise our guess, as if we were in a heated bidding war
plz elaborate on the rules of your sweet contest
@Neeko
Flattery will get you nowhere. My original post, like a child, must grow up and make its way now through the web by itself.
meant "'sweet' contest"
$664
$650
self-promotion/spam off-putting nigger-dick size-issues
$300. Are we playing Price is Right rules, or just closest?
What are Price-is-Right rules? Probably closest.
the odds of tao lins newest girlfriend winning are pretty high
once she wins, it will be revealed that her "bid" was actually paid for by tao lin
he will say that his contest was completely transparent and that he did not break any rules
he will say he did this because the internet seemed "funnier" this way
i will laugh at you all for giving him your money
^
hahahahah
sigh. this is depressing, but also makes me feel blank. so the depression i felt before seeing it seems less pressing or something.
$153
did someone win?
i have won the contest
just thought, 'thomas p levy shits himself' with a neutral facial expression
Price is Right rules: whoever is closest to the actual amount, WITHOUT going over the actual amount.
(Guessed amount must be equal or lesser to the actual amount.)
Direct complaints about illegal Internet scams to the Office of the New York State Attorney General
$2.75
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