Shoplifting from American Apparel (Melville House, Sept. 2009)

6:05 A.M. EDT Oct. 22, 2008 - PRESS RELEASE - FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Melville House Publishing will publish a novella by Tao Lin entitled SHOPLIFTING FROM AMERICAN APPAREL in September, 2009. The novella will be approximately 18,000 words and be a member of Melville House's Contemporary Novella Series.

(RICHARD YATES will be released at a slightly later date, possibly Winter 2009/10.)

To celebrate this "sudden change" in Tao Lin's career arc (in which contains the possibility of career-ruining, career-enhancing, or "simply" career-altering elements) Tao Lin has created a commemorative, emotional, and hamster-embossed edition of EEEEE EEE EEEE and made available to the public the fore-mentioned item, by putting it on eBay. Each of the 220+ hamsters was meticulously embossed by Tao Lin using techniques first developed in the middle ages and perfected over 800 years later in online role-playing games featuring "fantastical" or "medieval" elements. Two to three tools were employed by Tao Lin during his processes including various "Sharpie fine point" markers.

Statistics of the Hamster-embossed EEEEE EEE EEEE are as follows:

• Contains over 220 hamsters including the legendary "red-black hamster" and the much-admired "ultimately life-affirming" hamster native to East Timor.
• Contains the "elusive" red hamster (some have claimed that it doesn't even exist; Tao Lin has provided indisputable photo-documentation in the eBay listing).
• Is hamster-embossed on 5 out of 6 sides; at least one hamster has been embossed onto every page.
• Contains "the hamster seal of quality" on the spine.
• All hamsters meet or surpass all requirements, as outlined by Sotheby's, for "100% unique" certification.
• The history and purpose of the "specimen" (dated 10/22/08, third edition, 5/6 hamster-embossed) has been handwritten on the back cover by Tao Lin, effectively imbuing this particular EEEEE EEE EEEE with the attribute of "self-explanatory," and, even, indeed, to a certain extent, "self-aware."
• Will be wrapped and delivered in a candid portrait of the first Nobel Prize-winning hamster; an additional layer of wrapping (using raw organic nori sheets) is available upon request (and if bidding exceeds $50).
• Free shipping within the continental U.S.A.
• Each hamster has been inspected by at least three different unpaid interns, each of which "signed off" (check-marked, on a separate object) that each hamster, self-evidently, "possesses" four legs, one tail, two "eyeballs," one circular construction enclosing each eyeball, and one body.

To bid on the Hamster-embossed EEEEE EEE EEEE go here.

Media inquiries, possible buy-out offers, and institutional-bidding or alternative-bidding discount requests may be directed to Tao Lin at binky.tabby [at] gmail.com.

*UPDATE* The Hamster-embossed EEEEE EEE EEEE has been sold for $102.50 to Mike McGee *UPDATE*