tao lin interns be prepared to be disowned
i am typing a post called 'good, bad, medium, disowned' that will categorize all known tao lin interns, i am typing this post in about 7 hours, if you are a tao lin intern who does not want to be disowned you have 7 hours to do something on the internet; detailed explanations of my choices will not be available
*7 hours later*
i think only intern #6 did something, i do not completely know if anyone else did things, so i don't feel qualified to categorize my interns, so i think everyone except intern #6 is disowned; i'm not sure what has changed because of this; i think a tao lin intern should think about 'what should be done' with themselves and the others and then organize something that benefits tao lin, i am really tired of doing the work my interns should be doing; i am not a tao lin intern, i should not be doing tao lin intern work
*12 hours later*
tao lin intern republican party uprising (official site)
tao lin intern vegan bake sale
*60 hours later*
ron silliman supports the uprising
working hard to destroy tao lin
*7 hours later*
i think only intern #6 did something, i do not completely know if anyone else did things, so i don't feel qualified to categorize my interns, so i think everyone except intern #6 is disowned; i'm not sure what has changed because of this; i think a tao lin intern should think about 'what should be done' with themselves and the others and then organize something that benefits tao lin, i am really tired of doing the work my interns should be doing; i am not a tao lin intern, i should not be doing tao lin intern work
*12 hours later*
tao lin intern republican party uprising (official site)
tao lin intern vegan bake sale
*60 hours later*
ron silliman supports the uprising
working hard to destroy tao lin
65 Comments:
In the name of Saint Valentine, don't do anything harsh to these young, confused, unpaid people! What kind of brute are you?
tao lin is a fucker
haha
i would be worried if i was an intern
poke
does intern=offspring?
you should disown them unless they get pregnant/someone else pregnant in the next 7 hours.
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i agree with brandon. this post made me laugh.
what if i want to be an intern?
This post is just like a professional wrestling storyline.
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intern numbler 11
status: worried
put us in a box that says "free interns"
and write the 'E's backwards so it looks cute
i just googled "numbler", it is a web based spreadsheet
i meant to type *number
and didn't feel like deleting a post again due to lazy careless spelling errors
jillian, were you drunk? i saw the first comment you made, you typed 'number' as 'never'
jillian, i think you were drunk when you typed the first comment which you deleted
all my interns do is get drunk all the time, i hate my life
I have been gathering a revolt against you for longer than I have talked to you electronically. A week ago I made www.bore-parade.blogspot.com . Our first ebook will be 'I am a little bit happier than Tao Lin'
mike- we should unite.
i will crush this uprising easily
easily
i wasn't
tao, your drunk comment makes me want to join the uprising
i don't know what to do
kendra wants me to join
i am so torn
i don't know anything anymore
any interns who are now against tao lin should come be my interns now and help me raise money to hire a lawyer to sue tao lin and melville house for repeatedly using my photographs without credit or permission. it will be fun.
Uprisings. This is why I don't have interns.
That and because no one likes me.
We're too small to crush, Tao Lin. We are the ants that run between the treads in your shoe.
ms. blueberry,
your mission is our mission. join our revolution and we will support your whims!
matthew
i am your intern. i aid your blogging.
tao i finished reading your short novel today after 3 months of reading time
undisownable
thanks jeffrey for reading it so intensively it took three months
i think i support the revolution against me, it sounds exciting, kendra i would like to help you, what should i do?
the bake sale is supporting you but also supporting the uprising against you, which you are supporting.
jillian, that is a paradox that matches the rhetoric of my books, which say that consciousness and existence is a paradox which is the human condition, that paradox is the only truth, or something, therefore i make sense comprehensively in all my actions even in attempts at mad hits by way of gawker links
i feel good about this
Mr. Tao Lin,
I do not care for uprisings. I do not want to be your intern. I want to be your valentine. I will see you reading at the slam tomorrow.
-your enthusiast
yes
i think i should get points for that
are there intern points? you don't have to keep track, really, just award them randomly
it might be fun
That's right, blue. I forgot. And because you helped before I said that, and before all this intern talk, you are not simply a "pity intern." You are a real intern.
Therefore, here is a video of Emmett purring.
Maybe Richard Grayson will take your case pro bono.
First of all Herr Lin, I'm Intern 6, not Chris, who is Intern 5.
Second of all, can't a person not look at the internet for a day?! I posted to my blog (www.catherinelacey.com) a few minutes before you posted this situation and then I actually did some work, this work that I do called writing.
And then you know what I did? I had a whiskey and I went to sleep. And then today I did not use the internet until just now, when I got home.
I think 7 or 12 or 24 hours of not checking your blog is pretty reasonably, Herr Lin.
So there.
Sincerely,
Catherine Lacey (Intern SIX.)
thank you matthew. that was very good. i laughed. i liked the parts when his face was really close to the camera the best.
i like this comments discussion
i added the link to your introduction to the wikipedia page.
i like all these comments, i have good feelings toward all of you people
i like that i called chris killen incorrectly intern #6
i like all of you people, i feel good
look at this video prathna lor made utilizing a drawing i sent him
i would like to join the revolution. i still want to be badass. ours is the most badass revolution - we even let the person we revolt against join us. we don't even have to do any work. we can just say "tao lin, we all agree that you should punch yourself repeatedly and eat helpless animals." we should keep him alive, though, so we can stay united in the fight for freedom with no definable end in sight.
being a tao lin intern is a good way to not be bored.
how do i submit to bore parade
i am against everything
Mr. Tao Lin,
I do not want to submit anything. I do not want to be a revolutionary, at this time. I am not motivated by the lure of publishing. I just want to be your Valentine. I should have capitalized the V in valentine in my first comment. See you later.
-your enthusiast
You told the interns to be prepared and I wasn't prepared. I am wearing a sad face on the outide of my face.
I am going to spend the night removing my tao lin intern tattoo with a cheese grater because I cannot afford laser surgery.
I should have got the tattoo on my shoulder like the other interns. curse me and my penis tattoo
we should have a tao lin effigy burning. bake sale left-overs can be served as snacks.
interns should erect a giant sculpture of tao lin...only to topple it afterwards. pull it down with a pick up truck and a chain.
sms, i am really afraid
the slam poetry is at 10 p.m., i feel like crying
ryan, if you didn't remove your penis tattoo with a cheese grater yet you should record it so you can put it on youtube to promote my next book
defeat tao lin with kindness
http://reader-of-depressing-books.blogspot.com/2007/04/my-mom-is-on-3-am-magazine.html
you will do well, I think. i like your readings. i would come and support your slam poetry reading but I am going out of town tonight. I lied about the penis tattoo I am sorry about that. I would let it be used for book promotions if it had a tattoo. perhaps fingerpaint. shrug.
i hope that you have a good slam and I hope I can read about it when I get back in town the week after next
there are a lot of comments here - good job
ryan is hilarious. what a great intern :]
good luck on your reading !
Mr. Tao Lin,
Valentines come in all shapes in sizes. Usually though, they are red.
-your enthusiast
i will blog about my slam maybe ryan, thank you, i'm glad you didn't grate your penis even though it would have helped me move some units
yo tao
haha. sorry
you didn't respond to my comment >:[
i am a full time high school student so even if for some reason, you felt like being nice, and let me be your intern number like 12983719285, i probably wouldn't be a good intern, especially seeing that you found it unacceptable for your interns to respond within 6 hrs or w/e. 12 hrs? idr. but i clicked the bore parade thing and i'm wondering, can i submit my work?
-grace
tao lin style comment:
grace, writing that is about how tao lin needs to change his ways, writing that revolts against tao lin's writing through form or content, and alot of other kinds of writing are welcome at bore parade. First and formost books regarding the tao lin jaguar uprising of 2008. Then other books. I will reply to all submissions.
ryan, tao lin will not be effected with kindness.
tao lin, I feel good, too. I hope someone videotaped your reading.
jillian, yes.
ashley, join us.
zachary german, submission information is up at bore parade now.
ohhhh kay
i don't really have any work revolting against tao lin right now but i can create some.
i kind of like tao though.....and his work.......is that bad?
I wanted to sign on to be a tao lin intern but I was afraid I'd be unnoticed or rejected. Now that there is a revolution I would like to join it but it seems like you have to actually be an intern to be in the revolution???
I had sex with a writer/English teacher last Friday night and afterwards I told him many things about tao lin; I think that should show that I am willing to 'think outside the box' when it comes to doing things to 'promote' tao lin, and that I should be credited with being a tao lin intern all along, so that I can now become a revolutionary and feel like I am a cadre in a serious uprising.
i feel uncomfortable
i tell my friends about you mr tao lin. i really do.
i want to know what you do as an intern
and how i would become one
like if it's possible at all
this revolution against you is quite interesting
thank you
i am experiencing an identity crisis
63 comments you are the blog god
blogma
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