TAO LIN | BLOG

6/21/07

read this story by brandon scott gorrell

23 Comments:

Sarah (Tao's substitute unpaid intern) said...: I just want to let everyone know that all of Tao's interns are either part of his entourage in Baltimore or on vacation or sick, like my niece Cindy who asked me to come in to take over her shift from now till 7:30 tomorrow morning because she seems to have food poisoning.

I told her that not everything vegan is OK to eat, but she never listens to me.

Anyway, I don't really know who Tao is other than what I've read on this blog in the past couple of hours, but I'm here at Tao Lin's office and will handle everything till he and the other interns get back.

If you could hold off on hard questions till then, I would appreciate it. I am 37 years old and the mother of two children and work as an administrator in a New York cultural attraction which, for obvious reasons, I won't name here.

So I don't really feel qualified to do this, but Cindy babysits for me, so I agreed. I'll do my best, but, guys, save the hard comments till tomorrow.

Thank you for your cooperation.; 10:35 PM
brandon said...: tao

thank you very much for linking my story in your blog

brandon; 2:56 AM
Sarah (Tao's substitute unpaid intern) said...: brandon,

on behalf of tao,

you're welcome

everyone else,

thank you for keeping it a quiet night; 3:52 AM
ryan said...: one of tao's interns should email me the story. my work blocks 3AM's URL.

rl8211 AT yahoo DOT com; 2:29 PM
brandon said...: ryan, i emailed you my story

brandon; 3:34 PM
ryan said...: interns: get on the ball.

thank you, brandon. it was a good experience for me.; 3:48 PM
Tao Lin said...: interns, what the fuck?

ryan had to have the author himself email him the story? more than hour after he put in his request?; 6:57 PM
ryan said...: i was not upset. your interns seem to do nice work. and brandon was very quick to email me. thank you for having me on your blog to read you.; 8:32 PM
brandon said...: im sorry interns

i didn't mean to make you look bad, really

you guys do a good job posting comments on tao lin's blog and other stuff

hooray interns; 9:41 PM
Tao Lin said...: i'm sorry about what happened with my interns ryan

i took the 6 train with 'sarah' to 28th street and we walked past 1st avenue to the edge of manhattan and i pushed her head under the water and drowned her in the river, my shoes got very wet but i just thought, 'don't be angry, just accept,' and was calm about it

i hope she doesn't disappoint you again; 3:41 AM
Sarah (Tao's substitute unpaid intern) said...: I have filed a complaint about Tao Lin with the National Labor Relations Board and am considering a class action suit on behalf of all his interns.

As I said, my real full-time job is with a well-known New York cultural organization that treats me and its other employees much, much better than Tao Lin treats his interns.

In fact, I have worked for Wal-Mart and they treated their employees better than Tao Lin does.
And we got discounts for things we bought in the store. Tao Lin makes his interns buy his books with their own money.

Also, I have some incriminating emails that show that Tao Lin is doing the same kind of things that Enron executives did, and I've turned that information over to the Manhattan District Attorney's office and the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York.

Do not be surprised to see Tao Lin indicted in a few months.

The indictment will probably help him sell even more books.; 6:25 AM
Sarah (Tao's substitute unpaid intern) said...: I think some of the interns have gone to work for Brandon now.

Great story, Brandon.; 6:27 AM
ryan said...: good luck with that; 3:43 PM
Tao Lin said...: sarah, i will fight you in a court of law

rather i've assigned a few interns to fight you in a court of law; 6:05 PM
brandon said...: my interns will fight your interns in a court of law; 7:36 PM
Sarah (Tao's substitute unpaid intern) said...: Tao, I heard one of your interns hired JT Leroy's attorney to work for you, so I give up. I will pay you damages for my negligence. My lawyer will call your lawyer to offer a settlement.

I have my children to think of.

Don't let my children go without smoothies.; 10:26 PM
Sarah (Tao's substitute unpaid intern) said...: But I cannot control what the U.S. Attorney might do.

For that you have to talk to Alberto Gonzales.

Or his relative and spokesperson, Speedy, whom he hired from JT Leroy.

You should get one of the interns to call Speedy Gonzales.; 10:32 PM
Billy said...: Hello,

I am a real Tao Lin intern.

Intern Billy.

Intern Billy does actual work, like reviewing e.e.e. for South Park Amazon. What have the other interns done? Not much, as far as can tell, except complain.

If the other interns would work, they would get moleskines. I have already gotten three stolen moleskines. Inspired I wrote a poem:

I am a moleskine.

I used to live in a bookstore.

But then Tao stole me.

He put me in his pocket.

He sent me to Billy.

Billy is beautiful.

Thank you, Tao, for stealing me.; 11:02 PM
Amanda said...: I am not an intern, would never be an intern, but I did steal Tao's books from McNally Robinson.

One at a time.

I have two of each now.

Tomorrow I will steal another one.

I like Tao's books. And it gives me an almost sexual thrill to be cheating him and his publisher and McNally Robinson out of their money.

Almost sexual.

I can also steal a Moleskine for you, Billy, if you want.

Or do you only accept them from Tao?; 4:03 PM
Tao Lin said...: amanda, stop stealing from mcnally robinson, you are bad

steal from barnes and noble

bring the books back to mcnally robinson and then go steal from barnes and noble; 4:43 PM
Tao Lin said...: i would like to say that my interns have told me that i shouldn't address the person who commented here as 'sarah' directly anymore, for safetly of not influencing what can and cannot be used for evidence in the trial; 4:45 PM
Billy said...: amanda.

you are funny.

do you have any writing that i can read?; 8:02 PM
Tao Lin said...: you are probably amanda billy; 8:06 PM

TAO LIN | BLOG

6/21/07

al gore's first diet

23 Comments: