dear everyone who pre-ordered e.e.e. & bed

you will get the books next week; if your address changed email me

if you live close i will send by media mail, if you live far i will send by priority mail

i will draw surprises on bright paper that may be rated pg-13 or higher for some people; i will look at each person's name and use discretion accordingly; if you want nc-17 email me and i can do that

i want to say something

i think everyone who pre-ordered my book should go to the amazon pages for e.e.e. and bed and review the books before you read them

a legal way to read books and also help independent bookstores without spending a lot of money is to buy books from independent bookstores, read them, and then return them to borders or barnes & nobles for a gift card to sell on ebay; this works, i have done it before, and it is legal; you can also get free books from book parties and return them to borders or barnes & noble

gift cards sell for around 80% of their value on ebay i think

barnes & noble had this thing the last time i returned two books from unknown origin, though, where they mail me my gift card, and they had me fill out a form, and said i would not get my gift card for 3 to 4 weeks, so after that happens once maybe try borders or waldenbooks or someplace (maybe it was just that barnes & noble because it did not happen at other locations)

those are all legal things

someone should paste all that into a review of e.e.e. or bed saying that that is what e.e.e. or bed is about

i want someone to review e.e.e. and call me the asian john updike if john updike adopted a child with jonathan safran foer and then left jonathan safran foer and jonathan safran foer raised me himself in secret from his wife nicole krauss

i would feel excited if people reviewed my books saying things like that

please do things like that

it will be exciting

i like the review someone gave my poetry book

i think most people go to amazon to see if a book is popular or not and to get information about the book

(if you are ideologically opposed to corporations and amazon, don't worry, what i am suggesting will decrease amazon's power in the long-term, i think

the amount of interest and confusion (which will cause more interest, i think) like 20 reviews about asian john updikes and giant caterpillars will generate will get melville house and myself more money comparatively (amazon will also make more money), in the short-term, than if there were not those things, and after enough 'notability' has been gotten, in the future, the long-term, i can write a non-fiction book (i am already 'set' to do this, it has been discussed) whose facts will from the perspective of most people be 'against' corporations and amazon, and with the increased 'notability' melville house will have by then, due to the interest generated now, which will get them more attention and reviews, the non-fiction book will do much more 'damage' to corporations and amazon than if we had not at first 'used' amazon and gotten them a little more 'power'

also if melville house continued to gain power and influence until they had more power and influence than amazon they would not, i don't think, 'become' amazon, but instead cause amazon not to exist anymore (with their 55-60% or something discounts from the publisher or distributor, or something, much higher than normal stores) while if amazon continued to gain power and influence melville house would still be able to exist, as long as they chose to continue to exist

also if you pre-ordered from me and read this site you are probably more likely to want to support independent venues, while people who look on amazon for things to buy are probably more likely to be spending all or most of their extra money on corporations anyway, to 'save money'

in conclusion doing things on amazon helps amazon less than it helps melville house, and melville house is opposed to amazon; something can be opposed to something and still use it, if it knows that using it will help itself more than it helps the thing it is opposed to

therefore most people can feel 'moral' about reviewing e.e.e. and bed on amazon

and for people who say they have no ideologies it will be interesting, new, fun, and exciting to know that people who don't know anything about the books will come and see 20 reviews that don't talk about the book, say lies about the book, or say different things about the book than any of the other reviews

thank you

together we can exploit (or rather divert the money of) people who spend money where the price is lowest regardless of whether or not it is a corporation, independent business, or giant moose and gain money for melville house and tao lin while also doing things that are new and exciting and maybe fun or at least not boring