is tao lin real: a symposium
please discuss meghan austin's project
- books
- richard yates (2010)
-
- shoplifting from american apparel (2009)
- cognitive-behavioral therapy (2008)
- eeeee eee eeee (2007)
- bed (2007)
- you are a little bit happier than i am (2006)
- 'e-books'
- hikikomori with ellen kennedy (2007)
- today the sky is blue and white with bright blue spots and a small pale moon and i will destroy our relationship today (2006)
- this emotion was a little e-book (2006)
- selected 'pieces'
- 'relationship story'
- essay re 'future of the novel'
- essay re mushrooms
- essay re koko
- essay re 'almost transparent blue'
- top 10 worst fruits re blowjobs
- top 10 animals w/o asses
- profile re 'tao lin'
- essay re 'sfaa'
- essay re [various things]
- essay re trespassing
- essay re 'blogging platforms'
- essay re 'three movies i liked
- essay re 'marina abramovic'
- essay re 'honored guest'
- essay re 'sfaa'/music
- essay re seattle
- essay re 'reading in seattle'
- essay re 'levels of greatness'
- essay re 'good and bad in art'
- essay re poems/relationships
- essay re [the word 'nice']
- essay re germany
- essay re 'k-mart realism'
- essay re 'thomas bernhard'
- essay re 'short stories'
- 'we will drink our coffee...'
- the 'can't concentrate' manatee
- the nearly-severely depressed bird
- the existentially-fucked megamouth shark
- the professional sasquatch
- the gay stepdad
- the disappointed ant
- the vegan muffin
- sex story
- exactly what i want
- love is a thing on sale
- leftover crack in red hook
- sasquatch
- we will drink our coffee
- should
- bear poem
- february
- october
- friday
- whale poem
- opposite of song of myself
- interviews
- jeff rosenstock
- stza crack
- ben lerner
- malcolm gladwell
- tony o'neill
- chelsey minnis
- michael earl craig
- richard grayson
- deb olin unferth (2)
- matthew rohrer
- rebecca curtis
- clancy martin
- joy williams
- stephen elliott
- stephen dixon
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25 Comments:
I am not from Chicago but I sometimes wonder if Tao Lin, Noah Cicero, Tyler Young, that Chapman person, and Ellen Kennedy are not all the same person.
are you wells oliver?
who are you?
You know I've had 28 years and I still really haven't figured that out. I'll get back to you.
does it say wells oliver on your driver's license?
It does. But you cannot trust state-issued identification. I mean you can buy them on the internet.
did whitney fire you from web editing pindeldyboz?
who edits it now?
No, I still edit Pindeldyboz.
how the fuck do you know who types your name into their computer?
i have statcounter
statcounter.com
whitney emailed me asking to be web editor in april and i said i didn't like reading fiction
i know for a fact that noah cicero and tao lin are not the same person.
some asshole started saying i was noah cicero because both of our initials are n.c.
nobody on the internet is real anymore. wells oliver and tao lin are the same person.
i am the asshole who claims that i am noah cicero, but i am not noah.
i also know for a fact that chapman is real because chapman published the human war through fugue state press and noah cicero doesn't have the kind of money to do that.
i know that tao lin at least lives in new york because i paypal-ed some money to him and received the very retarded giant moth with a new york postmark.
although i have never had any direct dealing with ellen, i can guarantee ellen is not tao or noah:
noah cicero and ellen kennedy cannot be the same person because ellen's writing is too chest-wrenching. noah's writing makes my chest tighten. one's a twisting kind of motion. the other is a squeezing. if they were a handjob, you'd want both of them together.
tao lin and ellen kennedy would probably not be the same person because ellen's writing is much less anxious and probing than tao's. ellen's writing feels like it is from outerspace. tao's writing feels like it wants really badly to get to outerspace, but has doubts about being able to breathe there.
chapman cannot be ellen or tao because you can tell he's had different experiences altogether. his comments are totally different.
these are all facts and you should accept them as such.
p.s. who the fuck is tyler young? i knew a tyler young in high school. is he from ohio?
Actually, I am everyone. Even whoever is reading this right now. You are not you. I am you. I made everyone up. And not just on the internet. I am everyone everywhere.
Boo!
tyler young is brian beatty who is also timothy mcsweeney who is also condoleeza rice who is also the reincarnation of f. scott fitzgerald who is also probably william faulkner and patrick @ litvision. tao lin might be amy tan who is really noah cicero.
Hi Tao,
I googled "is tao lin real". It was for a project. You can Google if I'm real if you want. And let me know if you find out!
thanks,
Meghan Austin
condoleeza beatty
it says you wrote a novel in 3 days
what project?
Just some project. I like reading fiction. You can tell Whitney that, whoever Whitney is...I wrote half a novel in three days. My friend wrote the other half.
My stat counter says that 2,912 people googled "Why is Tao such a Douche?"
To be fair though, it was probably me every single time.
what project?
tell me
Tao Lin isn't real. No one is. Everyone is a robot programmed to ruin everyone else's life.
noah, let's discuss this, where are you
I've never had a symposium before. Can we invite the giant flying squirrel with the MFA from Brown? He could give a speech on whatever it is flying squirrels give speeches on. We could invite a retarded animal with an MFA from Iowa too. Maybe a lemur. I'll bring shots of Fireball for everyone.
what is the project?
Oh, the project has nothing to do with you, however many of you there are. Thanks for letting me have this symposium. Fireball, anyone?
just say what the project is
you mentioned it so now you have to say it
if you mention something you are required to say everything about it because you really want to or wouldn't have mentioned it
thank you
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