the MFA in hamsters
at the table is a moose, a bear, a cow, a hamster
all have neutral facial expressions
the bear reads its short story
the room is small and when the moose moves it makes a hole in the wall
and goes through the hole to wyoming, where it lives
the cow sits and falls because cows can't sit
the bear sits on the cow
the cow squirms a little
the bear pets the cow's face and the cow stops squirming
the cow is afraid
the bear scratches the cow's face a little
a human comes in
'is this the MFA in hamsters?' the human says
the human is nervous and begins to read his short story
the bear claws the back of the human's head and the human dies
blood gets on the hamster
the hamster shakes its body
this has been the MFA in hamsters
if you like what you have heard please fill out a FAFSA form to determine if you are eligible for financial aid
the MFA in hamsters is a two-year residency program which culminates in the submission of a creative thesis
with the spirit of an arts colony and the benefits of the research university of which we are a part the MFA in hamsters continues to foster and to celebrate american literature in all its varied forms
we look forward to working with you, especially if you are a talented young hamster with cultural and political awareness, an interesting background, and a sort of half-assededly nihilistic worldview that can, ultimately, be interpreted by michiko kakutani, benjamin kunkel, and whoever the current fiction editor of the new yorker is as 'life-affirming,' 'refreshingly optimistic,' and 'free of the crippling irony that plaques much of our younger writers'
all have neutral facial expressions
the bear reads its short story
the room is small and when the moose moves it makes a hole in the wall
and goes through the hole to wyoming, where it lives
the cow sits and falls because cows can't sit
the bear sits on the cow
the cow squirms a little
the bear pets the cow's face and the cow stops squirming
the cow is afraid
the bear scratches the cow's face a little
a human comes in
'is this the MFA in hamsters?' the human says
the human is nervous and begins to read his short story
the bear claws the back of the human's head and the human dies
blood gets on the hamster
the hamster shakes its body
this has been the MFA in hamsters
if you like what you have heard please fill out a FAFSA form to determine if you are eligible for financial aid
the MFA in hamsters is a two-year residency program which culminates in the submission of a creative thesis
with the spirit of an arts colony and the benefits of the research university of which we are a part the MFA in hamsters continues to foster and to celebrate american literature in all its varied forms
we look forward to working with you, especially if you are a talented young hamster with cultural and political awareness, an interesting background, and a sort of half-assededly nihilistic worldview that can, ultimately, be interpreted by michiko kakutani, benjamin kunkel, and whoever the current fiction editor of the new yorker is as 'life-affirming,' 'refreshingly optimistic,' and 'free of the crippling irony that plaques much of our younger writers'
8 Comments:
i want in. i've got loads of money, but i don't want any culminating.
basically i just want to meet people and know what they want me to talk about.
Yeah, that's pretty much what my letter said.
Except, the bear ate the hamster, and rode away on a unicycle.
And Michiko Kakutani gratuitously used the word "limn" just to piss off the cow.
i was actually crippled by the plague of irony. it happened while i was reading kunkel's novel.
no funny business here, folks. i was seriously hurt.
Isn't it actually a plaque of irony? Am I reading that wrong?
Because, I was crippled by a plaque of irony. It fell on my head. It was improperly mounted over a dorrway. It said:
"This is the world's safest building. No one has ever been injured here."
This is my funniest comment ever, and since it is not the top post, no one will ever read it.
Life sucks.
matthew, i read your comment because your comment was emailed to me and i appreciated your comment
thank you for making the comment
this is my funniest poem yet and no one cares
carla, thank you for coming back despite the shame you must feel for not doing what you said regarding kitchen sink
clay, go read your a public space
dear zoetrope people
i see zoetrope people coming here from a private zoetrope messageboard
i see it
i want to know what is happening
someone copy and paste what is being said about me here
MFA in hamsters makes me feel happy. !!
"For another, the workshop as a form has bled downward into the colleges, so that a writer could easily have taken a lifetime's worth of workshops as an undergraduate, a la Jonathan Safran Foer."
Post a Comment
<< Home